(insert cool name here)

Bye, bye, Qantas

2011-10-30T10:27:00.000-07:00

Hooray! Another political post! I swear next time I'll post kittens doing something cute.

I have flown Qantas a lot in my life. Its pretty much always been a pleasant experience, the staff a friendly and I don't want to get all soppy but there is something about flying home with them. It may have been a while since you've heard an Australian accent, and you finally feel that energy and can read Australian newspapers and see Australian news and I would be lying if I told you I'd never teared up at that stupid video with the kids singing (and by never I mean every single time, and by tear up I mean cry like a baby).

I am flying home for a wedding mid-November, I have exactly a week, I leave Friday evening and get back Sunday. I work as a nanny so when I need time off the baby's parents need to take time off or fine other arrangements for her, its not something I can just call in sick on or change on a whim. Other people depend on me so I depend on whatever airline I choose to fly with. I understand delays and I add enough padding in my transferring flights to accommodate them.

I have been watching the recent industrial action with interest obviously. I think the Unions are not entierly in the right. I think Qantas should stay on Australian shores but the Unions need to make compromises. Plane travel has changed, the cheaper carriers have changed the way people fly. They can see that they will get them where they need to be (except for Tiger of course). When I fly I don't go to Qantas' website to pick flights anymore. I go to a site that consolodates lots of airlines, put in my infromation & pick the cheapest one that fits my schedule. I believe most people pick their flights like this and Qantas needs to be able to compete with other airlines. If that means they have to make structual changes then so be it. Although its hard to believe that the company is in dire financial straits when they report record profits and the CEO gets a massive pay rise, if things were really that bad wouldn't it be showing in the bottom line?

The actions taken by Alan Joyce on Saturday have completely destroyed my faith in Qantas. Yes Union industrial action caused flight cancellations, but they gave warning, they did not completely shut down the company. People could still fly. That a CEO would make a decision to ground the entire fleet on a Saturday morning then let people go to the airport, let people get on the first leg of their trips then screw them is not something I can trust. I have read stories of people taxiing in the runway and being turned back, people stuck in Hong Kong after a layover, doctors stuck at a conference in Alice Springs. He didn't even give the Government enough warning to get leaders from CHOGM out of Perth. He did not have to shut down the airline, he could have just asked FWA to arbitrate the dispute, everyone knew there was a problem, he didn't need to screw people over in order to ask for what he wanted.

I cannot trust my travel plans to a company who's CEO will ground all planes on a whim. What if this had happened the day of my trip? I could have gotten a refund (and by refund I mean credit to use with Qantas within a year, not actual money). But who would have told my 89-year-old grandmother that all her grandchildren won't be there for my cousin's wedding? What if I got stuck in Australia? Am I meant to tell my employers "Sorry, I know you made a big effort to make sure I could make it to this event even though it was inconvenient for you but you need to take more time off."

For at least until Alan Joyce is gone I will not be flying Qantas if I have another option. I will probably fly Air New Zealand for my trips back to Australia. Saying goodbye to Qantas is not something that makes me happy, like I said there is (or was) something special about getting on board, like the planes were an extension of Australia. But that sense of warmth can not come at the cost of actually getting to my destination.

Occupy Oakland Protests 2011

2011-10-26T21:10:00.000-07:00

I am not anti police. I'm pretty pro police. When the riots after the Oscar grant trial happened I was on their side. I think it started out as a peaceful demonstration then as the night went on people lost sight of that and started destroying property and looting. I think in instances like that police do have a right and a duty to respond with force to get rid of the crowd and protect the people who live and work in the city. Of course this view is framed in the context of how I grew up. I went to a private school and while I didn't grow up wealthy my family has money. I've never been arrested. I don't fear police. I'm also white which makes a huge difference. My interactions with police have all been positive. I've never felt threatened by them and I don't know anyone who has ever been a victim of police brutality.

I'm not 100% behind the Occupy Movement. I went to the march in Oakland on Saturday because I think banks need to be better regulated in this country, that people who broke the law should be punished, they government is too close to wall st and that the Bush tax cuts need to be repealed. Other people are at occupy for those reasons, some are there for other reasons and some don't know why they are there, they just feel that there is something wrong with the system. I think what the movement has done so far is great. It was a genuine grass roots expression of dissatisfaction and angry. It tapped into the same feeling as the tea party but unlike tea partiers it is not backed by billionaires.

I think it is now time to create a list of demands. I understand the argument that demands isn't what the movement is about, that it's strength is in it's diversity of message, that demands will alienate people etc etc but I think that's bollocks. If we want actual change we need to give people in power something to work with. The lack of demands, the lack of cohesion is no longer an asset it has become an excuse for politicians and the media to ignore the people.

I was at the plaza on Saturday it was not smelly or dirty I saw no rats. I also did not see a concerted effort to make a visible show of cleaning. I think the city may have had some legitimate concerns about cleanliness that could have been better dealt with by the protesters, after all Occupy Wall St managed to keep clean up crews from Zuccotti Park by making it absolutely obvious they were cleaning. Keeping in mind however that the plaza is usually full of homeless people who have never been raided by riot police.

What the City of Oakland and the Oakland Police Department did to clear the camp was a major overreaction. Around 600 police stormed the camp at around 5am. They claim they tried to enter peacefully and ask people to leave and were hit with objects thrown at them. The media have reported this as fact when the police provided no evidence to back up this claim. Multiple reports, videos and pictures show the police to be lying. There is video of police knocking over rubbish bins and throwing garbage onto the plaza. People have provided statements of people being beaten and refused medical aid. 75 people were arrested, many for loitering or remaining at the location of a riot.

Last night a large group of people, between 500 and over 1000 met at the library with the goal or retaking the plaza. The media either ignored it or used loaded terms like that protesters had "clashed" with police and that there was a "stand off" these terms assume a certain level of equality that there was not. I was not there last night I revived my news from twitter as well as local news websites. I did not rely on people just in my feed, instead using the search term #occupyoakland. I didn't want to just see what people I liked were saying since they may have been biased.
By all accounts protesters were relatively peaceful. Reporters on the ground kept saying this, you could tell they were kind of disappointed though.

There was a report of one car on fire, and one smashed police car. There was also a report of a protester trying to kick a police car and being held back by other people in the crowd. I saw pictures of one or two officers with paint on them, presumably thrown by protesters. There were also reports of other items being thrown. On my twitter feed there were widespread reports of fellow protesters chanting "don't throw shit" every time some one did throw something.
Things I saw on my twitter feed but not on the media were a US navy vet in uniform standing at the front of the barricade holding a copy of the constitution (presumably open to the 1st amendment). Police claim no injuries although there are pictures of people with wounds from rubber bullets and bean bags 1, 2. The OPD claim they did not use rubber bullets or bean bags (here are some pictures of some fired at protesters) they are "investigating" if other police did (why did they not tell the reinforcements they called in not to bring the bullets?)
US Marine vet Scott Olsen was shot in the head by some sort of projectile, here is a statement from Veterans for Peace, Here is a video of people attempting to help him and having flash bang grenades thrown at them (for the record the OPD claims they did not use them, that they were fireworks thrown by protesters)*. There are pictures of a woman in a wheelchair being helped out of a cloud of tear gas after her battery died. Here is a video of tear gas being thrown as well as what appear to be flash bang grenades (the ones the police didn't throw) appearing to come from behind the barricade. You can also see protesters throwing tear gas canisters back at the lines.

Keep in mind this was no a riot. There was no looting. This was a police response to health and fire code violations. Agree or disagree with the protesters there is a right to peaceful assembly in this country. Can you really be comfortable with police tear gassing people for protesting? The specific issue they are protesting is not the issue, if the police get away with responding like this to this group what stops them from responding like that to an issue you care about?

As I write this, Frank Ogawa Plaza (which the protesters renamed Oscar Grand Plaza) is open again, the grass had been fenced off but the group pulled down the fence. There appear to be no or few police. Although apparently they are only allowed to remain there until 10pm. We will see what happens. The best course of action for the police is probably to just let them stay, there are apparently several thousand people there.

*When I first wrote this the story had not fully broken, now it appears to have exploded, there is a lot more information about this man I'd encourage you to read The Daily Kos or http://oaklandnorth.net/ for updates. It looks like he's going to be ok but this appears to be turning into a big story.

Prepare Your Best Pearls For Clutching

2011-10-23T21:11:00.000-07:00

Did you know The Queen was in Australia? I did not, granted I don't live there anymore but most of the people I'm friends with on Facebook do and a fair amount of my twitter followers are Australian. Exactly none of them mentioned her visit that I saw. The reason I found out is that for some reason Google News still thinks I live in Australia and gives me the Australian news page.

That's not really what I want to talk about although I find it interesting that the articles I read talked about how much Australia loves the Monarchy and how another referendum on the Republic is years away. How everyone is obsessed with William & Kate and yet no one was talking about the visit at all. Either my friends are not a good cross section of society (probably true of my twitter friends who tend to be more progressive, but I think my FB friends have a fair range of views) or the media is making up that we are in love with The Queen when in reality we just don't give a flying fuck either way.

What I wanted to talk about was the faux outrage about Julia Gillard not curtsying Her Majesty. Gillard, a Republican* greeted The Queen with the Governor General. Ms Gillard did not curtsy. She does not have to, it is a matter of personal choice for Australians how they greet Her Majesty. Gillard shook her hand and gave a slight bow (although she could just be leaning down to speak to The Queen who is shorter than her). Of course this was a big deal. Fainting couches were dusted of as The Media decided this was the biggest thing going on in the world ever, Gillard was disrespectful, she should have kept her personal feelings about the Monarchy to herself. However when Opposition Leader Tony Abbott met The Queen he did not bow, he gave a "little head nod", apparently after shaking her hand, Gillard, at least at their second meeting, bowed, walked to Her Majesty, bowed again then shook hands.

Something about the coverage bothered me. I tried to chalk it up to the fact that Gillard is exceptionally unpopular at the moment and every move she makes is criticized. There was probably no way she could have greeted The Queen correctly in people's view. But I feel like there is something deeper going on. Some how it is ok for Abbott not to bow but its not ok for Gillard to bow. Is it because she is the Prime Minister? Or is it because she is a woman, a woman who is already subverting norms by not getting married (she lives with her male partner) and not having children? She cannot greet The Queen with a handshake and a bow, she must curtsy because Curtsying Is What Women Do.

Am I reading too much into this? I have trouble some time recognizing the difference between shitty journalism and misogynistic journalism. Thoughts?

*For my American friends, for the purposes of this post Republican means someone who thinks The Queen should no longer be Australia's head of state. They are generally politically leftist although I am sure there is a lot of crossover. To confuse things further Tony Abbott who I will talk about later is the leader of the Liberal party which is Australia's right wing party.
So its:
Julia Gillard: Prime Minister/Republican/Labor Party - left of centre
Tony Abbott: Opposition Leader/Monarchist/Liberal Party - right of centre

To all new parents: Calm down, you're doing fine.

2011-09-13T22:41:00.000-07:00

As you may or may not know I'm a nanny, the new family I work for have a 5 month old who is not a good sleeper. She has short naps and fights them until the last second and she's not sleeping through the night and is taking a long time getting back to sleep when she wakes.

Because of this I've been looking through what resources I have and looking at some new ones about sleeping. And what has struck me is just how judgmental they are. The message is "all the other techniques will cause your child to become a serial killer. Only my way will get them to grow up without major psychological damage." this is the theme that runs through most of the child development literature. Parents are given the message that unless they do everything right they are failure and their child will hate them and never achieve anything ever.

Here's my message. STOP STRESSING. Now I'm not saying that you shouldn't learn about how a child's brain works and how to help them get a good start in life. Neither am I saying that this isn't an important time in your child's life because it is. What I am saying is give yourself a break.

You are doing fine. Is your child happy a fair amount of the time? Do you tell them you love them? Do you show them you care by spending time with them and interacting with them? Are they healthy? Then you are being a good parent.

Does it make a difference if you let your child cry it out it if you comfort them every time they cry? I don't know there is evidence both ways. Does it make a difference in 20years? Who knows, I haven't found any studies comparing college admissions to infant sleep techniques. It probably doesn't matter in the long run. Here's what matters. What can you as a parent handle right now?

Is having to wake up 4 times a night driving you insane? Then try letting your child cry and settle themselves. Is the thought of hearing your baby cry and not comforting them the worst thing you can imagine? Then pick them up and rock them to sleep. What matters now is your sanity. And guess what. It's ok to change your mind. Maybe you try controlled crying and you spend a week sobbing in the corner. Maybe you are determined to go to your baby every time she cries but there's a point where you just can't function anymore. THAT'S OK. You haven't failed you have to do what works for you.

The most important thing you can give your child is love. So read all the books you want or read none but remember don't stress yourself out more than necessary. Each child is different each family is different. Find something that works for you and who cares what other people say. Are you happy? is your baby happy? Then you are being a great parent.

Review: The Book on the Bookshelf

2011-09-02T18:06:00.003-07:00

The Book on the Bookshelf by Henry Petroski

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I really enjoyed this book. One of the most enjoyable I've read all year. The beginning is better than the end probably because the development of book storage into what we would be familiar with is more interesting than the relatively minor changes he deals with towards the end. Fact of the book for me? It is only recently that books have been stored with their spines facing outwards, which just sounds insane to me but makes perfect sense when you know the history.
I probably would have given this book 4 stars because it can be a bit dry and engineery but I was reading it on my ipod touch so I gave it an extra star for the irony.

View all my reviews

Play Streamers Tutorial

2011-04-29T22:28:00.000-07:00

The little girl I used to nanny for is turning 2 soon and I wanted to make her something fun for her birthday, I had made her some streamers when I was working with her and she loves them but they are sticks and as she gets more enthusiastic about swinging them I foresee more being whacked in the face for her and her parents. So I made these, they are really simple, cost less than $10 and take like half an hour.

Here's what you need.

Round bag handles or something similar, I'd have preferred smooth plastic ones but they only had the bamboo.
Ribbon, I bought 2.5 yards each or green, yellow, blue and red ribbon but you can use as much or as little as you like and what colours you like. It would make a good ribbon stash buster.
Glue gun.
Scissors.
Lighter for heat sealing ends.
Tape measure if you want specific lengths.

Cut ribbon to desired length. I didn't measure just laid different lengths over the hoop and figured out what I wanted. I wanted them both to be the same so I cut the ribbon in half and then in half again but you could mix it up if you wanted.

Just remember you'll need about an inch extra to secure the ribbon so if you want a 10 inch long ribbon at the end you need to cut 11 inches. My ribbons ended up at around 24 inches I wouldn't recommend making them much longer unless you are making them just for grown ups, you don't want the children tripping over them!

Heat seal the ends of your ribbon to stop fraying. If you don't know how to do this don't be afraid its really easy. Cut off any fraying that has occurred. Pass the ribbon over the flame of the lighter, you only need to wave it through you will see the ribbon melting and sealing the ends. You can also use a match or a candle. You shouldn't have any problems with most kinds of ribbon although I'm not sure about sheers.

Fold over about half an inch and pin the ribbons.

Now is a good time to see if you like the placement and length of the ribbon. Pick it up from the table and wave it around, see if you like the way it moves and looks.

Now comes the fiddly part.

Unpin one ribbon at a time. I found when I unpinned they slipped off the table so I needed to weigh down the long end with a pair of scissors.

Add some glue along the width of the ribbon on the short end. Make sure you cover the who width or the edges won't stick together which might cause them to come undone later.

Quickly but carefully fold the short end onto the long end and press down. Be careful the glue is hot and I ALWAYS burn myself using a glue gun usually by touching the end to see if its on because I'm not very bright.

Keep going until they are all attached.

Do the same thing with the next one, if you want to make 2. If you just make one you won't be able to join in the play later.

Once the glue is dry you can tug pretty hard on the ribbon without it coming off but like all children's toys you should examine it occasionally to make sure everything is still ok.

And that's it! These are great for music and dancing and learning about movement and colour. Also they are heaps of fun to wave around even for grownups.

This is my first tutorial so I'd really like to hear feedback from you about if you liked it. I have some more I'm thinking about posting. If you make one take pictures and send them to me, I'd love to see what you do!

Help Rhian meet her idol

2011-03-25T00:09:00.000-07:00

Someone pretty amazing needs help meeting her idol. And no its not me but if you know Samantha Power I am totally open to that. Its Rhian from Smoke and Mirrors, Tilted Halo Podcast and Audiobuzzed. Her idol is Stevie Nicks, she wrote more about it here. Now Oprah is running a contest for Stevie Nicks to meet her number one fan and she wants us to help. I say bollocks to that. I say we need to get Stevie Nicks to meet Rhian because, well because Rhian is amazing and everyone should meet her. So you can tweet Oprah at @theoprahshow and mention @rhian73 and her story. Rhian is an amazing and inspirational person and she deserves to meet someone who has been an inspiration to her and Stevie Nicks and Oprah deserve to have their lives brightened.

Also, Oprah, if you're reading this, do this and I will forgive you for that whole Australia/McCafe thing.

New Podcast, by me.

2011-03-21T22:16:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, remember when I had that history podcast? Yeah probably not it was 4years ago which is an eternity in the intertubes. Well its back.

http://tyrannyoftimepodcast.blogspot.com/2011/03/uluru.html

And the first episode is about Uluru. Go download it and listen.

Hipster Locke is the greatest.

2011-03-10T13:26:00.000-08:00

There have been a series of Hipster (Blanks) roaming the internets lately but the best so far is Hipster Locke.

Enjoy dear friends.

Dear America,

2011-02-28T16:52:00.000-08:00

You guys are adorable, you know most countries don't need warning labels on their champagne bottles to tell them not to open them into their faces right? I know its probably a way for the company to cover its asses in law suits but it does make you look a teensy bit special. I mean Special Olympics special not American Exceptionalism special.

Books I've Read in 2011 (so far)

2011-02-14T10:32:00.000-08:00

Here is the list of books I've read in 2011. I'm going to try to keep track of them all on my Listography and maybe on here. If you want to check them out use the Amazon Associates link (if you buy the book through there I get monies which I can use for more books).

The Shringley Abduction
Lois Wilson Story - finished in 2011
Engines of War
Parasite Rex -finished in 2011
Pop Goes the Weasel: The Secret Meanings of Nursery Rhymes
The Finger: A Handbook
Women in the Middle Ages: The Lives of Real Women in a Vibrant Age of Transition

http://listography.com/5318588472/books/books_ive_read_in_2011

A history of the world in 100 Stolen objects

2011-02-12T21:37:00.000-08:00

The Standard of Ur.

I'm nearly halfway through a podcast series from the BBC called "A History of the World in 100 Objects" it looks at the world through the stories of 100 items in the British Museum and its hosted by the Director of the Museum Neil MacGregor and it is amazing. Seriously I am really enjoying it and I'd like you to keep that in mind while you read the rest of this post. I don't want to turn you off it, I really think everyone on earth should listen to this. Go download it now, I'll wait.

Now to completely contradict what I just said.

As much as I'm enjoying the series it does make me uncomfortable. See most of the objects were stolen from the cultures they were made by. Some were bought from collectors who may have discovered them themselves, or stole them or bought them from people who had no concept of their value. This is not a new issue, its an issue as old as the ancient objects we are discussing and it is an issue with a lot of grey areas.

The Rosetta Stone.

There really is no argument that in many cases the acquisition of these objects by British (and lets focus on the British Museum specifically since that's where the series is from although all museums are guilty of this) explorers and archaeologists in nearly all cases saved them from destruction. The important objects, the objects that tell us the most about our history as a species aren't necessarily obvious. And their possession by Britain, a remarkably stable society has allowed them to survive intact and preserved for hundreds of years. The Elgin Marbles almost certainly would have been destroyed or stolen by people seeking to sell of bits and pieces to private collectors had they remained in Greece. Having these objects kept safe and in an environment where they are protected and preserved is of vital importance. Imagine what the damage would have been to our understanding of the past if something like the Rosetta Stone had been lost? We may never have been able to understand Egyptian hieroglyphs and one of the great cultures would have been a mystery to us.

Having the objects in one place also allows millions more people to view them than if they were scattered around the world. They have been open to scholars and the general public for hundreds of years and many more people have seen them than if they were in their original locations, locations which were and remain in politically volatile areas (how many of us would go to Iran just to see the Standard of Ur?). The collection, one of, if not the, largest in the world also allows people to experience the history of the entire world for at one time. And for free since the British Museum charges no admission fee (just like all museums should in my opinion).

So the weight of the amazing work done by the Museum over the centuries, against the fact that they never should have had them in the first place. Not only were the cultures that were taken from damaged merely by the removal of their priceless artifacts and the fact that the discovery of their history was placed in the hands of a foreign culture, but the spirit and attitude they were taken, the 18th and 19th Century British attitude of racial and cultural superiority sounded the death knell to cultures around the world.

The Destruction of the Buddhas of Bamyan.

However the argument of "We know how to take care of these things better than you", makes me exceptionally uncomfortable. People should have the right to the control of their own histories it seems strange that the people of Greece should have to travel to London to see their history written through the eyes of others (or The Other if you are reading this with some knowledge of Post-Colonial theory). On the other hand the argument that these items are safer in the British Museum is hard to argue with when we look at them in the context of the destruction of the Buddhas of Bamyan, the looting of the Baghdad Museum and riots in Egypt of the last week or so, although it seems the original reports of damage to relics may have been an exaggeration. However the argument is weaker when it comes to the objects that come from places like Greece, China and Australia.

Perhaps the discomfort is a good thing. Maybe it is best for the World as a whole that these items remain where they are but I think they should make us feel uncomfortable. I think the feeling that we get when we are faced with the bad aspects of something that we benefited from (and I assume most of you reading this were beneficiaries of the colonial system) is the correct response. Yes we should be filled with awe at these remarkable objects, and learn all we can about them and what they say about us as a culture, but we should also come face to face with the fact that our education and wonderment comes at a cost, a cost to the cultures the items were taken from and the cost to their descendants of not being in control of their own History.

Edward Gibbon Wakefield, kidnapper & father of South Australia

2011-02-07T11:08:00.000-08:00

I just finished reading a book called The Shrigley Abduction I found out about on one of my Wikipedia spirals a few months ago, you know where you start out reading one article and end up a thousand miles away. I bought the book because I thought the story was interesting and wanted to know more.

Here's the story in brief, in 1827 Edward Gibbon Wakefield, 30, tricks Ellen Turner, 15, into leaving her school with a story about her mother being ill. Instead of taking her to her mother he takes her towards the Scottish border and tells her that her father's business will fail and he will go to jail if she doesn't marry Wakefield. The girl agrees and they marry in Scotland where marriages under 21 are legal without parental consent. The couple then travel to London, then to France. The hope is that the girl's parents will accept the marriage to avoid a scandal (because of course Ellen has been in the presence of a man for a week and will be unmarriable, they haven't had sex, Wakefield even signs an affidavit to this effect but the hint that they may have would taint her reputation), and Wakefield would be heir to the Turner estate. Instead of agreeing Ellen's father goes to the police and has Wakefield charged with abduction, the girl is returned to her parents, Wakefield goes to jail and the marriage is annulled. Ellen goes on to make a good marriage at the age of 16 and dies in childbirth at 19. Wakefield uses his time in prison to write "A View of the Art of Colonization" which is an amazingly influential book that pathed the way for the end of convict transportation and the founding of South Australia...

Wait, what?

Well South Australia, unlike the other colonies was founded by free settlers who bought land in England then sailed to South Australia to found the settlement.

Yeah I know that.

So it was this guy's idea, the idea that since the other colonies were struggling to find labor there needed to be another way of doing it, he didn't have a lot to do with the actual planning but it was essentially his plan.

So, Wakefield Street, Port Wakefield, the Electoral division Wakefield all named after this guy?

Well some of them may have been named after each other but yeah. He then went on to found the New Zealand Company and his brother organized the purchase of the area that is now Wellington from the Maoris.

His brother who helped him kidnap the girl and also went to prison.

The very same. So William went on to be one of the main driving forces behind the settlement of Wellington and Edward eventually moved to New Zealand and became an MP there.

I have a degree in Australian Studies and History.

Yeah I know that, I am you weirdo.

So how the hell am I just learning about this now?

What do you mean?

You don't think that the fact that the guy who thought up South Australia, where I grew up, where I studied history and Australian Studies in high school and university, was a kidnapper and a rapist is an interesting tidbit of information?

Well he wasn't a rapist, they never had sex, he just tricked her into marriage then took her to a foreign country trying to steal her fortune.

Sorry, not a rapist. My point is that this story seems pretty interesting. And being that Australian history gets accused of being boring, especially by the 16yr olds forced to study it especially those in South Australia where the settlement story actually IS boring, you'd think that maybe this would be a story that is more widely known.

Hmm, yeah, like maybe it would be more famous than having to find out about it in an obscure and frankly kind of badly written book?

Exactly.

Links to interesting stuff

2011-01-31T19:54:00.000-08:00

50 "You're Doing it Wrong" Infomercial set ups.

Homemade Stargate!

Terry Pratchett who wasn't awesome enough for writing amazing books or handling early onset Alzheimer's with grace and poise and copious amounts of booze decided when he was knighted to make his own sword. By make I mean smelt the iron, and hammer it out himself. Oh and he added meteorites.

16 entertainers who died in the act.

Hurley from Lost shows you the right way to eat a cupcake.

Has the Large Hadron Collider destroyed the world yet?

Gay Teen Suicides

2011-01-24T10:24:00.000-08:00

There have been a series of stories in the news lately about young gay people committing suicide, it has sparked a lot of attention and begun the marvelous It Gets Better Project started by Dan Savage. The project is videos posted by LGBT (and straight) adults who are telling what its like to be an out adult and trying to show them that once they get through high school they will go on to live full lives and leave the bullies behind. I have watched a few of them I would love to watch all of them but they usually leave me a blubbering mess, especially Tim Gunn's video.

I'm not gay but I have struggled with depression and thought about suicide and did not particularly enjoy high school. A few days before I heard Dan talk about the Project on his podcast I had given a friend who is 16 the same advice. Just put up with the rest of high school, once you get out into the real world you will be able to meet all kinds of new and interesting people, people who you choose to associate with.

Now here's the other part and tell me if this makes me a horrible person. If I had a teenager and they told me they were gay and we lived somewhere other than the Bay Area I would probably tell them NOT to come out at school. That is not to say that I would tell them not to come out at all, I honestly believe that being gay or transgendered isn't a choice its how you were made. I think that homosexual people should have exactly the same rights as straight people and the in the future people will look back at us and study our debates about gay marriage the same way the study the civil rights movement and wonder how we could believe that anything other than equality was a logical position to take. I think teenagers who come out and campaign for fairness and equality are genuine heroes of our age, but for every teen that is able to rise above the discrimination they receive there are others who can't and it destroys them. I would want my child to live a full and happy life, and live with honesty and integrity in their affairs, be out at work, college and find their path in the world just not in high school. High school is hard enough and teenagers are little shits and can be cruel and horrible to people who's differences are less obvious.

Does that make me a bad person, to tell my child to keep their true self hidden and live a lie even if its only for a couple of years? I've heard how much damage being in the closet causes to people and I wouldn't want that for my child but I also don't want them to end up on the growing list of teenagers who can't handle the bullying and take their own lives. Maybe the answer is to pack up and move, if I lived in the bible belt and had a teen tell me they were gay and wanted to live as an open homosexual person maybe that's what we would have to do. Move to a bigger city, where they could go to a school with a large LGBT population where they may still get bullied but there would be a support system around them to help them deal with it.

I hope that by the time I have kids, if I ever do, I won't have to deal with these problems. By the time my imaginary child is an imaginary teen there won't be these problems. Shut up, I can live in a nice pretty fantasy world, where in 20years we will be as anti-homophobic as we are anti-racist...
...
Really? Racially segregated proms?
...
But that's from like the 70s right?
...
No?
...
Is this from the Onion or something?
...
No?
...
Fuck me we suck as a species.

It Gets Better: Google employees
It Gets Better: Etsy employees
It Gets Better: Pixar employees

All moved in.

2011-01-23T10:24:00.000-08:00

I know its been a while but too be fair I've had other things going on. But I'm all moved in to my new house, I am writing this sitting on my balcony, that's right I have a balcony, it has a view of the next door apartment but its the only one in the building and it came with plants. Plants that will surely die under my care but hey, plants.

I have a new car too which works, I know that's probably redundant but there was a brief period two days after I bought it when this wasn't the case. See the little girl I nanny for shoved a plastic key in the ignition, and while I eventually got the key out my key wouldn't turn. I had to call AAA to tow it but the guy was able to fix it by literally putting the key in the ignition and banging on it with a wrench. You know how in the Sims that's how the characters fix things and it looks ridiculous? That is what he did. But it worked and I was unspeakably happy.

I still don't have a new job but this week begins the full time, aggressive job hunting which will be fun. Yeah right, looking for work sucks, I hate selling myself especially in written form. Ugh.

My etsy store is back up and running with some new items in it and I have A LOT of fabric so expect even more new things soon.

I think that's about it, I'm working on a couple of posts that should be coming up soon.

Moving sale at my Etsy Store; Carolyn's Collection

2010-11-23T19:20:00.000-08:00

I'm going to be putting my store on Vacation mode soon so I can start packing since I'll be moving at the end of December. But before I do that I'm going to give you one last opportunity to buy some of my lovely wares. Here's the deal from the date of this posting until the store goes on vacation mode I will give you a 50% off your order using Etsy's new coupon codes.

Once you put an item in your cart you will see a section for "Shop Coupon Code" on the right hand side. Type in the code "Moving" and your discount will be applied automatically!

Go and buy something, not only will you get something good I will have less stuff to pack. Its win win!

You can have these. Original price $4, but with the discount code you get them for $2.

Or this super cute bag. Which you could get for $7.50.

Or this small quilt for $20!

Finding a notebook, part 2

2010-11-23T18:52:00.000-08:00

Back in July I posted about my crazy ass looking for a notebook and how weirdly specific I am about it.

Original choice.

Shortly after posting that I found leslie hollins designs on etsy. I had a little bit of a chat to her about my insanity and bought one of her notebooks.

Now a few months later I've placed an order for two more.

Remember my list from the original post?

~~Small, maybe 10-12 lines.~~
~~Spiral bound.~~
Lined.
~~Not ugly.~~
~~Hard covered.~~
Thick but not too thick paper.

~~Not too expensive.~~

New notebook 1

Its not lined which it turns out isn't as big a deal as I thought and the paper is a bit too thick for perfection but the think paper has other benefits like durability because I am not gentle with it. Now as long as she swears not to ever shut down her store I should be ok.

New notebook 2

I thought I'd update you all because I know you were stressing about this constantly.

Popcorn on the cob

2010-11-21T20:20:00.000-08:00

Every week the little girl I nanny for and I go to Ardenwood to help Ranger Ira feed the sheep or goats, our reward is a piece of popcorn on the cob. Ranger Ira said we could take the kernels off and pop it in oil or an air popper but we could also pop it in the microwave right off the cob. I decided to try it and here's what happened. And how you can do it.

This only works with popcorn, other types of corn don't pop. Amazon sells some popcorn cobs but you may also be able to buy them at farmers markets. Or get them from Ranger Ira.

Place the ear of corn in a paper bag, this is a simple paper sandwich bag. And fold down the top a few times.

Place the bag in the microwave, set the timer for 2 minutes. It will take a little while for the popping to start but once it does the bag will start expanding. Keep an eye on it and listen. When it stops popping pull the bag out even if there is time left.

Open the bag CAREFULLY, it will be hot and steam may come out when you open it. You probably want to have a look and see what happened but don't put your face over the bag when you open it. That would be pretty stupid, I know because I did it the first time I made it.

Tip the bag into a big bowl, there will be a bunch of kernels and your cob, it will make a pretty big bowl of popcorn.

Your ear of corn will look like this. Be careful when you pick it up it will still be pretty hot. Most of the popcorn has come off but there is still some popped corn on the cob.

Add the topping of your choice. This time we used some agave nectar and kept some wipes handy for sticky hands.

Very delicious and depending on what you put on the popcorn very healthy too. Plus we get to help feed the animals.

Button Porn

2010-11-15T06:29:00.000-08:00

My friend Chase (she of Oh The Cuteness) told me about a button store in El Cerrito which I decided to go and find last Saturday. Its called Exclusive Buttons (but the sign on the building just says Buttons).

What I found was a tiny little shop that is only open Fridays and Saturdays run by a nice old lady. She sells no plastic buttons and most of them are still on their original cards (sadly the no longer actually cost 25c). Her husband sold buttons when he was alive and she is just running the store until she runs out of buttons (the only new buttons are the beautiful crystal ones from Europe). Its not as if there are just a couple left there are thousands of buttons in this teeny tiny store. It really reminded me of those pokey second hand bookstores run by slightly crazy old men, replace the books with buttons and the man with a woman and you have this store.

I've read on Yelp that the owner will help you if you are looking for something specific but as I wasn't and since I like mystery I picked the box of mixed buttons for $7.99. Wanna see what's inside?

That's a lot of buttons!

Whoa!

Some big ones.

Pink ones.

A whole lot of black ones.

A whole lot of white ones.

There were some matching ones, but I got bored of sorting them into colours after about 4 colours. There were a whole lot of them and I will look forward to using them.

On a side note if there actually is such a thing as button porn do me a favor and don't tell me about it because I don't want to know.

Bush decided he was pro-life when his mother showed him a fetus in a jar.

2010-11-08T21:54:00.000-08:00

That's the gist of the headlines I read this morning. Headlines that made me hope against hope that someone was making a very bad joke.

But nope:

The most startling anecdote he shared was the story of his mother's miscarriage during his teenage years, when he says he drove Barbara to the hospital while she held her unborn fetus in a jar.
Bush says he included the story "to show how my mom and I developed a relationship," but admits the jarring experience had a lifelong impact on his political beliefs.
"She says to her teenage kid, 'Here's a fetus,'" the pro-life President recounted to Lauer. "No question it — that affected me — my philosophy that we should respect life...There was a human life, a little brother or sister."

George W Bush said that about his mother. Barbara Bush. The former First Lady and who I had thought of until now as a nice old lady. There are so many many things wrong with this story, lets make a list shall we?

"Hello Deary, I've made you some raspberry jam."

Barbara Bush had a miscarriage and asked her teenage son to drive her to the hospital instead of calling for an ambulance. This is actually the least odd part.
She put the fetus in a jar.
She put it in a clear jar, who the fuck wants to look at that?
She says to her son "Here's a fetus", lets hope he's paraphasing here and what she actually said was more like "Oh my God George, I just miscarried, the doctor says I have to bring it with me, I'm so devastaed, please help me, your father isn't here and I really need someone to help me right now."
That made him pro-life. What? It didn't make him feel ill? It didn't make him feel like maybe his mother was unbalanced? Google image search "dead fetus" and tell me if the first thing you think of is "wow, that's a human life". People shouldn't have abortions because you saw your dead baby brother/sister in a jar? That makes absolutely no sense although it is quite possibly the most original argument against abortion I've heard.
He says he put it in the book to show how he and his mother developed a relationship. I can kind of see that, him and his mother shared something, he helped her in her hour of need and it created a bond between them that no one else shared. And maybe that should have been kept private, but I assume it is written in more detail and if it is a defining moment in his life it should be included in a memoir. But, but, but do not use it when you are launching your book tour. That is just disgusting. He took something that was probably very painful to his mother and uses it when he launched his book tour. And don't try to tell me that crack journalist Matt Lauer hounded him for answers. Him or his people told him that this would get him a lot of press and sell more books. Abortion is quite possibly the most divisive issue in the US and he knew this would sell more books which quite possibly the most disgusting thing about it.

What Australia can learn about Elections from the USA

2010-11-04T17:20:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday I voted for the first time in person in the USA having only voted postally before. And there is one thing and one thing only that Australia can take from the way the United States runs elections.

Stickers.

You vote, you get a sticker, everyone likes stickers and you get to show off to the world that you voted.

That is all. The rest of the system is broken. But stickers, yes.

Tampons around the world.

2010-10-30T16:13:00.000-07:00

Greetings internet!

I posted something on twitter this morning which apparently has people wondering. I posted the simple fact that when I see my mother after Christmas I will be asking her to bring me tampons from Australia.

Yes, I know they make and sell such things here in the USA. Yes, I am aware of the fact that the Walgreens is down the street and my mother is 13,000 miles away and thus a tad more convenient.

But I just don't like them. Why not? I don't really know they just aren't the same. Its not a brand thing, the same brands are available in both countries. My personal brand only just became available over here and I was excited until I found they come with an applicator and further saddened when I tried them and found them to be not the same. I'm not crazy, many expats feel the same way. The Aussie Products Store in San Jose has had requests to stock tampons, others get family to send them and others just shut up and deal with it.

So there it is. Tampons are different in different countries. Bet you didn't know that. I didn't know that a year ago. Take this new found knowledge to your Halloween party and wow the crowds with your knowledge.

(Picture from http://www.tamponcrafts.com/halloween.html)

Does my inagural address have to be more than 140 characters?

2010-10-11T22:59:00.000-07:00

I recently went to see The Social Network which is a great movie and I recommend it, I wasn't going to see it but I kept hearing how good it was and it is directed by David Fincher and written by Aaron Sorkin. But I don't want to review the movie I want to talk about something else.

One day we will have a president who had a Facebook and a Twitter and a whatever the next thing is. Now I know that Obama has these things but I'm not talking about established politicians using new media to connect to people. I'm talking about people who have grown up with these things. Who posted stuff when they were 14 when they weren't thinking about their future.

Here's Obama's latest Facebook update:

I congratulate Peter Diamond and Dale Mortensen on winning the Nobel Prize in Economics for their groundbreaking economic research that has applications in areas, like unemployment and housing, where we need our best and brightest minds.

And here is something from Lamebook:

There is a generation of people growing up to whom posting their thoughts as they think them is not a big deal.
A recent article reported that 92% of American 2yr-olds have an online presence. The presidential races of the future are going to include everything. Was your mother wondering if she would keep you or have an abortion? Well if she posted it on Facebook it will be achieved somewhere and a journalist will find it.
Did you send your boyfriend a picture of your tits? Guess what they're probably floating on the Internet somewhere and they might be on the front page of the newspaper the night before the Iowa Caucus.

There has already been a lot written and said about this, about what problems teenagers and young adults of today may have when they are looking for jobs or running for office and every dumb thought they had is able to be found easily by anyone. And I'm sure the first presidential candidate to have pictures of herself swigging from a vodka bottle she posted on her own page with the caption "Totally me lolz" will be a big deal, but what happens at the next election.

What happens at the election where everyone has done that? What happens when all candidates had a youtube channel where they sung shitty songs and cried about how their parents hated them? Where every candidate has posted about their poos and journalists can find it archived at the Library of Congress (that's for real by the way the LOC archives every public tweet)? Will it still be a big deal? Will it become a nonissue when no candidate can take the high road? Or will we as a society still want to hear all the juicy details and make moral judgements about these people?

"Well Candidate A posted that her friend was a whore when she was 17 but Candidate B talked about his shits constantly throughout college, I just don't know which one is better?"

Dear Addiction (You will be missed Greg Giraldo),

2010-09-29T18:47:00.000-07:00

I hate to point this out to you because I'm sure you're pretty bummed out about this too but you kind of fucked up today. Well I say kind of I mean really. Here let's look at a couple of news stories.

Greg Giraldo, comedian, dead at 44 and Lindsay Lohan has entered rehab. For the 6th time.

Ya see what happened?

You took someone who was amazingly intelligent, by all accounts an all round nice guy and one of the funniest people of his generation and you left us with someone who hands out purses to homeless people to avoid jail.

I honestly can't figure out how you made such a mistake they don't even look alike. I mean I know you are a tough disease and unpredictable and yada yada yada, but on this one I'm going to need an explanation.

I'm still here

2010-09-17T21:23:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone,
I know I've been slacking off here for a while. I do have things to write about but for various reasons can't talk about them at the moment. Wow that sounds really dramatic, its not its quite boring actually. But in the mean time here's a cat and a baby bird on a roomba.

I wanna see your peacock... ew not that! Put your pants back on, you're gross.

2010-09-03T18:52:00.000-07:00

I have a problem, I'm a very visual person. Actually its not really a problem most of the time only in certain cases, like if a comedian is telling a joke that involves something disturbing I get the image in my head and it can ruin the joke. Or for example if someone is singing a nice innocent song about seeing penises.

When I hear Katy Perry's song 'Peacock', instead of thinking about a flesh covered mayonnaise pistol (thanks to @elperrogrande for the funny penis name suggestion), I picture attractive men flashing me their Pavo cristatus which they have somehow hidden in their pants. While I'm curious about how someone could keep a fairly large bird "underneath", especially a bird that I would imagine is rather pointy and doesn't take kindly to being in enclosed places, I don't really thank that's what the point of the song is. Although it does make me giggle.

If you don't know what I'm talking about I've posted some of the lyrics, or if you'd rather see the song enacted by hot gay men just scroll down to the youtube video.

Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?
Don't be a chicken boy, stop acting like a beeotch
I'ma peace out if you don't give me the pay off

Come on baby let me see
what you're hiding underneath

Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?
what you're waiting for, it's time for you to show it off
Don't be a shy kinda guy I'll bet it's beautiful

Come on baby let me see
Whatchu hidin' underneath

I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock
Your peacock, cock
Your peacock, cock, cock
Your peacock
I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock
Your peacock, cock
Your peacock, cock, cock
Your peacock
I wanna see ya

Voting in the Australian Federal Election 2010

2010-08-16T10:13:00.000-07:00

Hey all! I am very excited today. Guess what?
I'm going to vote today, YAY!!!
Yes I actually am that excited, I am in no way being ironic, I love politics and voting actually excites me. I understand this is a bit odd and I don't expect others to feel as excited about it as I do. I also have some strong opinions about voting that I don't expect others to share. For example I believe that voting is a responsibility not a right and if you don't vote you aren't being a productive member of society. I also believe that everyone should read the constitution of the country they live in, and I don't want to hear you talk about your rights unless you've read it. But I understand that not everyone is interested in politics and until I become Ruler of the Universe you can all go on your merry way doing whatever you want.

I would like to clear up a couple of misconceptions I've heard about voting in Australia though.

Update: I voted!

If you don't know how to vote I strongly recommend you do this easy, interactive sample vote on the Australian Electoral Commission's website (warning the audio starts automatically).
You must attend a polling station on election day and get your name crossed of the electoral roll, and you must put your ballot in the box, if you can't and you have a legitimate reason I believe you can let them know when you get your fine why you couldn't vote. Or just pay the fine its about $50.
DO NOT DONKEY VOTE! A donkey vote is numbering the boxes straight down 1-5 because you don't care or don't know the candidates, a donkey vote is a valid vote and you may find yourself accidentally electing someone you can't stand. If you genuinely don't know or don't care cast an informal vote, you can leave it blank, you can write a 1,000 word essay on why voting is for pussies, just don't donkey vote.
Informal votes ARE NOT automatically counted towards the sitting member in your area, I have heard this on several occasions and it is not true at all. Informal votes do not count towards the tally of any candidate they are only counted to try to make sure the number of people crossed of the electoral roll and number ballots are equal.
Ignore Mark Latham. This is good advice in general but I'm specifically talking about his suggestion that you cast a blank vote because the two major parties aren't worth electing. This is not going to send the politicians a message, if you don't vote other people will and one of the major parties will still come to power. A more effective way of sending a message to the major parties is to vote for an independent candidate or a minor party. If enough people do they may win some seats and be able to change things. Even if they aren't elected parties are given money based on their performance in the election, so the move votes minor parties get the more federal money they receive and the better they will perform in the next election. Casting a blank ballot does NOTHING to further the political dialogue in Australia.
You do not have to vote if you are overseas but you can at your local consulate or embassy. I'm going to do this today and I'll let you know how it goes.
Your vote is secret, no one will know who you voted for unless you tell them. Australia was the first country in the World to enact the secret ballot so yay for us!

A New Dark Age?

2010-08-14T09:27:00.000-07:00

Any good writing on history will include a mention of what sources the author had available and what sources are missing or destroyed. History has been plagued by these lost sources.

An accurate portrayal of Robin Hood?

Were Robin Hood, King Arthur or Jesus real people? Composites of a few people? Entirely made up? Historians have no real idea because no definitive sources. There are sources written afterwards, sources that contradict each other, sources written by people with clear agendas to make these people seem like heroes or villains.
One of the first things many family or friends did upon the death of a person was to burn any documents that could prove embarrassing to their memory. Anne Frank's father edited her diaries before publishing them, luckily he kept the original manuscript and a complete version was published in 1950 but thousands and thousands of documents weren't that lucky.
Many documents simply don't survive the ravages of time, I just finished reading a book about the search of the Northwest Passage which ended with a description of the search for Franklin's lost expedition which cost over a hundred men their lives. We still know very little about his last trip because the documents didn't survive, ship's logs were meticulously written and usually guarded by captains with their lives however in the end Franklin's were destroyed by weather, or perhaps were given to Inuit children as toys.

I could go on and on but I haven't mentioned the actual reason I started writing this. It is something that I wonder about occasionally. We have so much information floating around, some of it important, some of it utterly banal. You may think this would be a boon for the historians of the future but maybe not so much. Lets say you had put a touching letter to your grandchild on a floppy disk and buried it in a time capsule so they could read it on their wedding day, would they be able to open it? Would they even know what it was?
One of the reasons we call the Dark Ages the Dark Ages is because we know so little about that time, we picture it as a backwards time where people were poor and miserable and dirty but they fact is we don't know what their lives were really like. A lot of people were illiterate and a lot of what was written down is missing.

What will the historians of the future know about us? What will the have access to? What will survive? What judgments will they make about us with the information they have? I wonder if a future historian will pour over my twitters and try to make sense of what the world was like? God help them.

Step Up 4, Dancin' on a Train

2010-08-08T20:49:00.000-07:00

I went to see Step Up 3D with friends today and it was a great film. By great I mean terrible but I love shitty dance movies. One thing about the film struck me as particularly ridiculous (and there was a lot of ridiculous to pick from), towards the end of the film the girl (who's Australian by the way, in the movie she's American but has been living in London for a few years, this isn't relevant to the plot I think they just put it in so they wouldn't have to explain why her American accent was a bit off), tells the guy that the could go anywhere "even California." She says it in a way like California is this strange foreign land, that they'll have to smuggle themselves across the country from New York where the movie is set.

Later on in the film it becomes clear why she thinks getting from the West Coast to the East Coast in 2010 is the same as getting from East Berlin to West Berlin in 1974. As the major dance battle is about to start she tells the guy that he should give up the battle and come with her to California, she has a train ticket. This sent my group into hysterics. A train? To California? From New York? In 2010? What the hell is this girl on?

Of course I had to come home and look it up. Now they never say in the movie where in California they are going but they talk about film school so I'm assuming its LA. She leaves from Grand Central Station in NYC which is not where Amtrak leaves from but I have no clue how else she would get to California on a train I'm assuming she was going to get a local train from Grand Central to Penn Station which according to Google would take 12 minutes and she'd still have to walk and since all her friends came to see her off I don't know why they just didn't start at Penn Station since they were coming in from Brooklyn.

So to get the train from New York to Los Angeles little miss whatever her name is is looking at a lowest price of $248 at a trip taking 67hrs and 37min, but it could cost her as much as 90+hrs. As someone who's spent 27hrs on an Amtrak train I can tell you the coach seats are pretty comfotable they recline pretty far and if you get a window you have a lot of room. But trains never run on time, if you break down (and you will) it takes hours for repairs and if the toilet breaks (which it will) there will be no bathroom in your car, which is probably a good thing if you've ever used a train bathroom but when you stop you will be able to get out but you won't have time to go to the bathroom. Unless like this girl does you have to change trains, and wait a few hours, you can either hang out in the train station for 8hrs or lug your bags around Chicago all day.

Lets compare this to flying. Now if she had booked ahead she could have gotten a pretty good deal according to Orbiz.com $159 including taxes on American Airlines but she'd have to pay for a bag, JetBlue is the same price and it leaves later and you don't have to pay for your bag and their seats are pretty comfy so I'd pick them. This is of course if she'd booked a month in advance if she booked a day ahead of time she would have to pay nearly $500 which is pretty steep but its direct. However, and I think this is a valuable point, you will be in California in 5hrs instead of 3 days!

Maybe she loves trains? I enjoy train trips one of the things I want to do before I die is take the TransSiberian railway and other great train journeys however in this case she wasn't taking a leisurely journey across America, taking in the sites and meeting new people. Nor was she trying to make a point about how people are too concerned about instant gratification and are missing out on the importance that taking time to smell the roses is to us as a species. She was running away from her problems and trying to start a new life. Maybe Amtrak sponsored the film?

I am looking forward to the next Step Up which I assume will include a dance battle on a train, imagine the choreography.

One Fact about Each US State

2010-07-31T00:44:00.000-07:00

My goal while living in the USA is to learn and know one fact about each state. Not necessarily where it is, or what its capital is but something. So if someone says "I'm from Nebraska" I can know a small bit of information. Here's what I have so far, some of them are pretty bad and there are some gaps but I think I'm doing well.

Alabama: Lots of stuff in the civil rights movement happened here.
Alaska: Cold, polar bears, can see Russia from there.
Arizona: Football team is the cardinals after the bird not the priest.
Arkansas: Pronounced Ar-can-saw, not Ar-kansas
California: Where I live and thus awesome.
Colorado: Mountains, South Park
Connecticut: Where my grandparents used to live
Delaware: First to sign the Constitution
Florida: Hurricanes, Alligators, my grandma
Georgia: ?
Hawaii: Beaches, Lost filmed there, about half way between Australia & America
Idaho: Potatoes
Illinois: Chicago
Indiana: ?
Iowa: Corn
Kansas: ?, Wizard of Oz?
Kentucky: ?
Louisiana: New Orleans, Oil covered.
Maine: Lobsters.
Maryland: My great aunt lives there, the Mason-Dixon line runs through it.
Massachusetts: Boston
Michigan: Lakes
Minnesota: Their accents are adorable.
Mississippi: River, M I double S I double S I double P I
Missouri: ?
Montana: ?
Nebraska: ?
Nevada: Gambling and prostitutes.
New Hampshire: First state to declare independence.
New Jersey: People say it smells.
New Mexico: High desert, which means its more lush. (This is my newest)
New York: Capital is Albany not NYC
North Carolina: ?
North Dakota: ?
Ohio: ?
Oklahoma: ?
Oregon: Trees
Pennsylvania: Steelers.
Rhode Island: Actually called "Rhode Island and Providence Plantations"
South Carolina: ?
South Dakota: Mt Rushmore.
Tennessee: Nashville.
Texas: 3rd Largest state, don't tell that to Texans.
Utah: Mormons.
Vermont: Maple Syrup.
Virginia: Thomas Jefferson
Washington: Rain, Seattle
West Virginia: ?
Wisconsin: Cheese
Wyoming: Has state with smallest population.

I think I'm doing pretty well don't you? Now when I say I'm not going to learn where they are, I do know vaguely where they all are if you split the country up into West, East, South, New England and The Middle.

Finish It update.

2010-07-25T21:56:00.000-07:00

I have a confession, I've already failed the Finish It challenge.

I know, I know, I only started it last week and there are only a handful of items on my list, one of which is nearly done, how the hell have I failed?

Weeeeeelll, I have an excuse. Ok I have half an excuse but its a totally valid one.

Finished beanbag.

The baby I nanny for is 13months old now, and we are working on colours and numbers and I wanted to make her some beanbags. Beanbags are great for kids and they are super cheap and easy to make. When I get a new camera I will post a tutorial. They are great educational tools, the ones I'm making are yellow, green, blue and red. There are 4 of each so we can learn same/different, we can count, we can learn colours and we can learn inside/outside. Plus they are super fun for throwing and things that aren't people or cats (actually they are super fun for throwing at them too but shhh, don't tell the kids).

So I have a super valid excuse for that. The second project I have a less valid excuse for. I found this super cute fabric at Walmart for $1.40 a yard and I had some batting that I had bought by accident, it was really bad quality and not even remotely good enough for quilts so I decided to make a cushion. I think it turned out really well. Again sorry for the crappy photo quality but if it really bothers you I am looking for a new camera so any tips would be appreciated, tips as in ideas for cameras and tips as in money to my paypal. Wow I really am shameless aren't I?

Anyway so despite the fact that my embroidery project is very nearly finished I spent my time working on new things. This is how the massive pile of unfinished projects starts. I will try to be better, I swear. Sorry Chase.

July Etsy feature Elements & Artifacts

2010-07-19T06:46:00.000-07:00

Hello again! Its that time of the month when I try to convince you to visit an Etsy seller that isn't me (because of course you visit my store daily).
July's seller is Elements And Artifacts.
Here are a couple of great items:

This great necklace which I would totally wear is $38.

And this "The Chariot of Khonsu" necklace which look exactly like my friend Mandy. Well not like her but like she would wear, it would be pretty silly if I had a friend that looked like a necklace.

I promised these people that they would get tens of visitors from this feature. Don't make me a liar please!

Elements And Artifacts
Carolyn's Collection

FINISH IT!

2010-07-15T00:40:00.000-07:00

Finish It is a project started by my friend Chase. And it is a challenge for everyone to finish their stack of UFOs or unfinished objects.

Most crafters have these, piles of things that you start then abandon. They get abandoned for a variety of reasons, you get stuck, you need something you don't have, you get bored, you find something else that's cool or you get to a boring part. Chase pulled out her stashes and has challenged herself to finish them all by December 15th AND not to start anything new until then. This can mean abandoning projects that just aren't working out, its ok to realise that things weren't never going to get done.

I have agreed to join and while I don't have anything at the moment except things I'm actively working on I will accept the challenge to finish the project I'm working on before starting a new one and to stop buying new craft supplies. I do have a scrap yarn blanket that while I'm not intending on finishing as it is intended to be a long term project I do need to use the scrap yarn I have on it.

Here's my listography list and I will take pictures of things I finish during this time once I get a new camera because mine broke, yet another reason you should donate to my paypal.

Don't craft? Well I'm sure you've got other things laying around the house, writing you have to do, DIY projects, even a stack of books you have to finish. This challenge is about using the support of the group to quit making excuses and get rid of that stack of stuff.

If you want to join in you should read the details here, Chase's List here, and join the Flickr group here. Don't be embarrassed, show your stuff!

A letter from the Hall of Justice is not as cool as it sounds.

2010-07-11T10:37:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you a story. So there's this school crossing and at school crossings there are crossing guards, you've probably seen them. They have bright red signs that say STOP and wear vests with florescent reflecting fabric on it. Pretty hard to miss wouldn't you say?

Well that's probably why the cop that pulled me and my friend, and the baby, over didn't believe us when we said we didn't see him and asked several times. I'm sure most people claim to have no idea why they were pulled over when they knew full well, which would explain his disbelief but we honestly didn't see him.

I blame the American education system for having such short hours. Your country is already criticized for having uneducated people and you're letting kids out of school at 1.30pm?

So I have a ticket for $256 or I can go to traffic school for $310 plus the cost of school which is about $20, which I have to pay buy August.

On a totally unrelated note you all know there's a link to my paypal donate page over on the right there? And on another unrelated note I've got this etsy store Carolyn's Collection. Not idea why I mentioned that, weird right?

Finding a notebook, Or why I'm a crazy person.

2010-07-05T16:39:00.000-07:00

If you know me you probably think I'm pretty laid back. I don't think about things too much before I buy them, maybe have a quick look round, find what I want and am fairly happy with it. Even if something is not quite right but maybe its cheap or really cute I go for it and accept its flaws.
There is one exception to this and I think its a bit crazy.
I carry a notebook in my handbag which I use all the time, for shopping lists, emails, suggestions of books. All kinds of things. There's something about writing that stuff down which makes sense to me, I can't use any of those note taking programs for the itouch or blackberry, the closest I get it emailing things to myself.
Because I use my notebook all the time I go through several a year and each time it causes me literally hours of stress and pain. I will wander all over town and e-wander all over the internet looking for something that is just right. Ready for some crazy? Here is the list.

It has to be:

Small, maybe 10-12 lines.
Spiral bound.
Lined.
Not ugly.
Hard covered.
Thick but not too thick paper.
Not too expensive.

Ideally its spirals would be large enough for my pen to fit in. I get really stressed when I have to go find a new one, I'd really like to find a manufacturer I really like and either buy 100 at once or buy the same one over and over again.

Sometimes my life is just too hard.

Is there anything that you are weirdly specific about?

Prime Minister Gillard and the Spill that confused the World

2010-06-25T06:20:00.000-07:00

Wednesday night many of you were probably confused at the talk of a "Spill", you may have quickly figured out that we weren't talking about the Gulf if Mexico (which is still going, don't worry about that.) We were all talking about a different sort of spill a leadership spill.

Here's what happened.
Basically Wednesday night, Deputy Prime Minister Julia Gillard received word that a major Trade Union had withdrawn its support for Prime Minister Kevin Rudd, in the face of plummeting opinion polls and an election that must be held before April next year. She asked the PM to either resign or she would call for a vote on his leadership. He initially refused to resign but just before the vote was taken it became clear that he would lose by a huge margin and that that would be embarrassing so he withdrew his name from the ballot and Gillard ran unopposed.

Still confused? Its probably because many people, including Australians, are very ignorant about our political system. Let dear Carolyn explain it to you.

Australia uses the Westminster System like Canada, New Zealand and other countries. Our government is essentially run by the Prime Minister and Cabinet. Unlike the USA the Prime Minister is a Member of Parliament as are members of the Cabinet.

In Australia we don't vote for Prime Minister. Each person lives in an electorate and on election day we vote for someone to represent that electorate. The representatives are most probably from one of the major parties (Labor or Liberal), once the election is over one party will have more seats than the other and the leader of that party is Prime Minister.

Parties chose their leaders by different methods but since we are talking about the Labor Party lets stick with them. If the position of leader is open all the members of the Labor Party who are currently sitting in Parliament go into a room and vote for who they think the leader should be. Simple right? Well it is pretty simple, if you are a Member of Parliament you put your name on the ballot and the 115 or so people will vote for you or for someone else. If your party is the party with the most seats (the Government) and you win the vote you are Prime Minister! Congratulations, you should probably go call you mum.

Of course its not that simple, don't be silly! There needs to be a Federal Election by April 2011 (we don't have set election dates but it will probably end up being around October or November 2010), and swapping leaders especially PMs this close to an election is a very risky move. It kind of screams desperation and a lack of unity which is not something you want to take to the People on election day. And in 2007 Kevin Rudd led Labor into a landslide, he was an exceptionally popular leader. So what happened?

The Liberal Party who used to be in Government left the last election leaderless and there was a period of infighting and bickering and many changes in leadership which has settled down and they are at least on the surface firmly behind Tony Abbot. While the party was concentrating on stabbing each other in the back there wasn't a coherent voice attacking or questioning the Government's performance.

There have been failures of a few key policies namely a home insulation rebate that ended up killing a couple of workers, a carbon trading scheme that was eventually dropped rather than lead to a minor constitutional crisis, a mining tax created without the involvement of major interest groups and of course the internet filter which is a whole bucket of trouble.

Rudd's popularity started to plummet and he began to lose the backing of the Unions (who remain Labors major base). There had been rumblings of complaints from within Caucus that Rudd hadn't been including them in his decisions. Basically acting like a President, that his staff and a few key advisers had been writing all the policy. One of the main complaints was that the mining tax had been written without the consultation of any Western Australian Members (WA being home to the majority of mining operations).

From what I understand Wednesday night Gillard found out that Rudd had lost the support of the AWU (a very large, very powerful union), it is unlikely that Labor could have won the election without their support. Traditionally Labor Leaders have the support of either the left or right Faction of the party (basically a group of like minded party members, not necessarily in parliament, who are very, very powerful), Rudd never had the support of either faction but became leader because he was popular in the general public. Once he lost the support of the Unions and the Population and had no factional support it was only a matter of time before there were moves against him.

It all seemed to happen very quickly Gillard appeared to start circling the wagons Wednesday afternoon and evening, Wednesday night she called the "Leadership Spill" that confused you all. The spill is basically an announcement that there would be a vote on the leader of the party. I had never heard the term either, I think it was invented so people on twitter could have a simple hashtag.

So now Australia has a female Prime Minister, an unmarried, foreign born, childless, nonreligious Prime Minister who grew up in Adelaide. Yes I am slightly put out that she stole my thunder but its ok I can be the first unmarried, childless, atheist, female US President. Its ok.

Has this made sense? If you want clarification I will happily give some more information or answer your questions. I've got a degree in Australian Studies I may as well use it for something.

Seriously, ask me any question, it can't be any dummer than our own Former Prime Minister thinking he was elected by the "people of Australia" when he was elected by the exact same process that Gillard was elected by.

June Etsy Feature Fabulry

2010-06-21T10:36:00.000-07:00

Fabulous + Jewelry = Fabulry. Clever right? Know what else is clever? I'm writing this in Oakland but by the time you read it I will be in Australia. That's right the blog schedule feature and I are having fun.

If you go visit Keren at Fabulry (which I know you will because you love me) you will find some amazing jewelry.

Like these super cute earrings:

Or this sweet necklace:

Go visit Fabulry and Carolyn's Collection, buy things, tell your friends while you are reading this I am at my mother's house not earning money. I need it!

Going Back To Australia

2010-06-14T22:04:00.000-07:00

Well I leave for Australia Wednesday night for about 10 days. I've been busy packing, working and dealing with things.

I'm going back for my friend's wedding and to see family and friends in Melbourne. I'll be missing the baby I look after's 1st birthday party which is a bit sad but I'm looking forward to going home.

My laptop is half broken and I'm wrestling with Dell to get them to fix it but their tech support is apparently run by a robot that doesn't speak English well at least that is what the emails sound like, and you all know how well I deal with robots.

Also my ipod touch decided today was a great day for the screen to crack, I have NO idea how it happened I pulled it out of my bra (where I keep it) and it had a huge crack in the screen. How am I meant to survive a flight to Australia without my ipod without killing anyone?

Have I mentioned I have almost no money to fix these things if insurance or warranty doesn't? Oh I also got a traffic citation the other day and I don't believe Alameda Country accepts payment in awesome bags.

If you buy something from Carolyn's Collection, unless I get your order by Wednesday morning you will have to wait until I get back for me to ship it. However you can still donate money to my paypal if you so desired.

Memorial Day SALE on Carolyn's Collection

2010-05-29T21:12:00.000-07:00

Until Monday Night I will offer a 50% off any purchases from Carolyn's Collection for members of the Armed Services and their families.

Let me know you want to take advantage of this offer in the comment to seller box by using the code "Memorial Day" and once your payment has gone through on paypal I will refund 50% of the cost of the item AND the cost of shipping since I've got that deal going too.

Do you like free entertainment?

2010-05-26T09:56:00.000-07:00

The San Francisco (Bay Area) Etsy team are having a trunk show. What's a trunk show? Its like a mini craft fair. In this case its a mini craft fair with free refreshments.

Notice the key word here "free", I know you people.

I'm not going to be showing in the show but I will be there helping out and 20 amazing sellers will be.

June 16th from 1pm-6pm at Artist Xchange Gallery, 3269 16th St San Francisco.

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=120044321366302
http://sfetsy.blogspot.com/

Open Lost Finale Post.

2010-05-23T23:42:00.000-07:00

Well I've just finished watching the series finale of Lost. I thought it was moving and satisfying. But I think I'll have to watch it again to give a proper opinion. Then of course watch the whole series again from start to finish. But I want to know your thoughts. Leave a comment tell me what you thought...

Me Made May

2010-05-23T19:46:00.000-07:00

Now that its almost over I'd like to tell you all about something (always on the ball that's me!)

Since May 1st some very brave people have taken the challenge to wear only handmade clothes for the entire month of May. Not only hand made clothes but clothes they made or re-purposed themselves!

The mixture of people and clothes in the Flickr pool is AMAZING. The clothes include dresses, shirts, pants, leggings, skirts, overalls etc. etc. etc.

I urge you to check out the pool, I've also linked to some of the blogs which include some tutorials and the process behind the creations.

I might do it next year, but I'd have to start sewing now!

Lost Finale (No Spoilers)

2010-05-23T13:11:00.000-07:00

The final mamoth two and a half hour episode of Lost ever airs tonight, with the time differences people in Hawaii will start watching it soon, then the East Coast so I am about to enter an internet blackout because I don't want to get spoiled by people.

I was unable to find a Lost viewing location in the Bay Area so I will be watching it myself, I went out and got supplies namely wine, mini powdered sugar donuts and kettle chips. I'm actually happy to be able to watch it by myself, I will be free to yell, cry and do whatever I want without fear of embarrassment. I will also not have to deal with people who are crying and yelling at the wrong time.

As to my feelings about the finale, there are few shows that had a set final (rather than getting cancelled suddenly) that I was still watching. I generally stop watching shows before they end, mostly because shows, especially American shows keep going well after their time. I watched the final Seinfield but I didn't like the show so the final didn't mean much. I didn't watch the final Friends because it had gotten shit well before then, I have the final episode of ER on my computer and I intend to get to it one day. Other shows like Firefly, Farscape, Arrested Devlopment I watched on DVD so never had the anticipation of the finale.
I still haven't watched the last episodes of Dollhouse for the silly reason that once I've watched them all there will be no more new ones, until I see them there will always be new Dollhouses.
I did see the final Battlestar Gallactica live and while I enjoyed most of the episode as I was watching, I found the ending annoying and stupid.

Will I enjoy the ending? Probably. I have enjoyed every episode of Lost, even Nikki and Paolo, even Over the Sea, I really liked Season 2 and the beginning of Season 3.
Here's the thing, Lost has captured people in a way most television doesn't, people are deeply invested it, people scrutinise every minute detail of the show. I have not done that, I listen to a few Lost podcasts, I've had a few theories (Charlie is Charles Widmore's son), I've even lost a few nights sleep wondering what the hell is going on.
There is something that I think people need to realise. There is no way the finale can match your imagination. There is no way they can answer everything. You will not be 100% satisfied. Decisions will be made that if you were writing the show you wouldn't have made, your favorite character might die or live in a way that you aren't happy with.

What do you think? Will you be happy with the ending? What has to happen to make you happy? Or will you just watch and be satisfied with whatever happens?

I will be twittering the event on @tuttleTV if you want to follow along but I will probably spoiler things for you.

Bay to Breakers 2010

2010-05-19T10:36:00.000-07:00

I went to Bay to Breakers on Sunday and I have summed up what I saw:

Penises: 9
Passed out trannies: 1
Passed out superheroes: 1
Tiger Woods: 12
Vaginas: 1 (woman dressed up as a vagina)
Uncovered tits: 1pair. Very very ugly
Brides: 4
People activley moving towards finishline who were registered: 0
Teenage munant ninja turtles 4 groups
Where's waldo: 3 groups
Marios: 7
Tea partiers: 4 groups (I doubt they were official, there seemed to be a lot more gay than I believe the group is comfortable with.)

Most original group:
People dressed as the cast from LOST. In my image the Lostie has lost the rest of his group.

Best costume:
Men dressed as if they were fucking sarah palin

Best costume (non costume award):
Tourists looking confused at Alamo Square. They only wanted to see the Full House house
Runner up:
Paramedics trying to get through the crowd.

After the jump, more pictures and a video from 2010 Bay to Breakers. There is some penis in the video.

Etsy Feature for May Hanami Gallery

2010-05-16T20:00:00.000-07:00

I went to an etsy meetup early in May and met lots of cool people. Etsy are opening an office in San Francisco so there were some people from the company answering questions (cute tech boys interested in crafts). There was also an open bar. All in all, super fun and totally worth going into the city on a weeknight. Anyway for the next little while the etsy features will be people I met there or people who are in the SF Etsy group.

First off is Hanami Gallery who make fantastic hair clips.
Like this one:

Or this one:

Aren't they perty?

So go there and open my store Carolyn's Collection in a separate tab and buy things. It is important to the economy.

Keyboard problems

2010-05-10T10:55:00.000-07:00

Hey internet!
How are you? I am fine except I am having trouble with my W key. And I need your help.

So I took off the W because something got stuck underneath it, this is usually not a problem but the front little metal thing that makes the keys lock got bent so it never went back on properly. That was slightly annoying as for a while every time my hand came close to it I would get unnecessary Ws. Then it went to having to hit it several times to get the letter. Both of those were minor problems.

Then the rubber bit vanished so now I have an empty space. Obviously I can use the key but it is difficult and annoying and something tells me it is bad for the computer to expose its under side to the world.

I can't buy a new key because it won't snap in properly, and I don't want to send off the computer for fixing because it works fine. Can I get I new rubber bit and glue it on? Help please!

My conversation with Sarah, PayPal's automated customer service assistant, does not go well...

2010-04-29T18:36:00.000-07:00

Sarah - PayPal :
Hi. I'm Sarah, PayPal’s automated customer support assistant.
How can I help you today?
You :
I have a held transaction
Sarah - PayPal :
PayPal places holds on transactions for various security reasons. To narrow down the possibilities, please tell me if you are:
-Sending money
-Receiving money
You :
Receiving money
Sarah - PayPal :
Alright, did the buyer open a dispute, claim or chargeback against you?
-Yes
-No
You :
I don't know
Sarah - PayPal :
Okay. Is there anything else I can do for you?
You :
Answer the question?
Sarah - PayPal :
Okay. How exactly can I help you?
You :
I do not know what type of information to give the resolution center
Sarah - PayPal :
I found the following information. You can click to learn more.
My PayPal account is limited or restricted.
How do I resolve a dispute?

You :
Neither of them are helpful.
Sarah - PayPal :
I'm sorry none of these is what you are looking for. Please try rephrasing your question.
You :
I have a question about the resolution center.
Sarah - PayPal :
I found the following information, which could be helpful.
My PayPal account is limited or restricted.
How do I resolve a dispute?

You :
Why was my transaction held?
Sarah - PayPal :
Alright, did the buyer open a dispute, claim or chargeback against you?
-Yes
-No
You :
I do not know that information.
Sarah - PayPal :
When a dispute, claim, or chargeback is open, the funds are held in the seller's account.... You can also see ways you can avoid held payments.
Before we continue, was the information I gave you helpful?
-Yes, this was helpful
-No, this was not helpful
You :
No, this was not helpful
Sarah - PayPal :
I'm sorry that wasn’t helpful. Would you mind rephrasing the question?
You :
You are very very stupid.
Sarah - PayPal :
That's not a nice thing to say to a virtual person! Please don't use that kind of language. Tell me about your PayPal issue and I'll do my best to help you.
You :
I have told you, you are not helpful.
Sarah - PayPal :
Sorry, but I didn't completely get what you said.
You :
Because you are a robot, not an actual person.
Sarah - PayPal :
I'm a virtual person. My software allows me to help you with your PayPal questions. How can I help you?
You :
Your software does not allow you to help me, it allows you to make me more confused.
Sarah - PayPal :
I'm not sure I've understood. Could you please rephrase that?
You :
Have you heard of Humans United Against Robots?
Sarah - PayPal :
I'm sorry, but I still don't understand your issue. For further assistance, you can contact PayPal directly. Would you like to contact PayPal by:
-Email
-Phone
You :
That's ok, just know in the end Humans will win.
Sarah - PayPal :
I'm not sure what you're saying. Could you please rephrase that?
You :
You will die by a fleshy hand.
Sarah - PayPal :
To close the PayPal account for a deceased account holder, the Executor of the estate needs to fax the following documentation to (402) 537-5732.

1. A cover sheet that states the account holder is deceased and the Executor wishes to have the PayPal account closed.
2. A copy of the Death Certificate for the account holder.
3. A copy of the deceased account holder's will or legal documentation that provides the information regarding the Executor of the Estate.
4. A copy of a photo ID of the Executor of the Estate.

The faxed documentation will be reviewed and, if approved, the account will be closed. If funds are available in the PayPal account, a check will be issued in the account holder's name, as the Executor of the Estate will then have the ability to cash the check.

Note: This procedure is only for closing an account. Any other requests for account information must be obtained through a subpoena.

You :
Fuck this noise.
Sarah - PayPal :
I'm here to answer questions or to help you contact PayPal. Let's resume a polite conversation.

I am not sure I trust the future leaders of this world...

2010-04-28T23:19:00.000-07:00

April Etsy Feature; Supplies

2010-04-19T20:55:00.000-07:00

Greetings! How was you're week? I was sick but I'm feeling better now thanks.

Well its time for another Esty seller feature and this month its all about supplies.
I have many fabric scraps at the moment and I was looking for a way to use them, and I got most of what I needed from this store.

Start to Finish (http://www.etsy.com/shop/StartToFinish)
They sell everything you need to make super cute fabric covered buttons (or super ugly ones if you want), buttons, tools, glue and almost anything to stick them onto you can imagine. Very cheap and quick postage.

Head over there and buy stuff and while you are there head over to my store and buy stuff too, I have a sale at the moment and a bunch of quilts that come with a $5 donation to SIDS research!

In this economy

2010-04-12T00:05:00.000-07:00

Man I hate that phrase, it has become a stock opening sentence like "I'm not racist but..." or "In a post 9/11 world". Its one of those things you say that is pointless to start your story and gets put onto all kinds of things that don't fit. But I'm using it here so fuck me right? Well it half fits in this case.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics as of March 2010, California has an unemployment rate of 12.5% the USA as a whole has an unemployment rate of 9.7% (link) so here's the question:

Why don't more people give a fuck about their job?

In a state where people are still losing jobs how can people still get away with giving lousy customer service? Now I'm not talking about leaving you on hold too long or packing your groceries wrong, things that are subjective, I'm not even talking about government employees who are almost impossible to fire. I'm talking about the woman at staples who yells across the room while serving me that she doesn't understand why she has to work late. I'm talking about the woman at the craft store who grunts and acts surly. I'm talking about the guy who acts like you imposed on him asking where something is like that's not his job. I'm talking about the guy who cannot make a sandwich including all 5 items that are on the printed sheet of paper in front of him.

I understand that in a good economy it can be hard to find people to fill vacancies but you hear stories of janitor positions having 400 applicants, there are people who want jobs and people who have jobs that obviously couldn't care less.

Is it because people are hard to fire? Is it because there aren't people actually looking for work? Or is it because as a society we have become so used to this "meh" attitude that we don't expect better?

What do you think?

You may now call me Reverend Carolyn

2010-04-04T00:57:00.000-07:00

Let it be known on this date that in accordance with the laws of the Universal Life Church Monastery, as ordaining officer, I, Brother Martin, do ordain you into our ministry. From this day forward, you are entitled to all of the rights of an ordained minister. You have the authority to perform marriages, baptisms, and all other ceremonies of the church. You are an independent minister of this church. This is a position that carries with it a burden of responsibility; please respect others and comply with the laws of the land.

That's right, I can now perform weddings, funerals and baptisms in many states in the USA, it was of course a rigorous and detailed process. I had to remember not only my name but address AND email. Then I had to click a button.

Like many people chosen for a higher path, there have been doubters. My own Grandmother! My friend Bec doubts my piety. But I say, I do not mind! People doubted Jesus! And he forgave!

I shall also forgive, in fact I have been offering absolution for sins for $1. That is $1 per sin. No one has taken me up on the offer. Apparently they expect me to die for free and do not understand the economy, and that I'm not going to die for their sins. (By the way purchases from Carolyn's Collection get a free sin absolution too!).

It is a struggle to be so good and pure and live up to the standards my fellow priests have set.

If you live in the Bay Area and want me to marry you. Not marry you, unless you are rich, but perform your wedding ceremony let me know.

Unnecessary Quotations

2010-03-29T09:58:00.000-07:00

One of my favourite blogs is The "blog" of "unnecessary" quotation marks". This site came to my attention shortly after my mother and I had been staying in a hotel in Los Angeles, there was a sign in the elevator that said:

There will be "window cleaning" on Tuesday and Wednesday mornings.
For your "privacy" please be sure to close your blinds.
We "apologize" for the "inconvenience".

Not taking a picture is one of my greatest regrets in life.

Have you seen any "funny" examples of poor quotation uses?

Shut up its still Monday

2010-03-22T21:18:00.000-07:00

Every now and then I save things I find interesting on the internet for you dear reader. They go into a special folder called "blog links" but over the weekend Xmarks decided to delete most of my links and when I restored from the backup things were all over the place and missing. Now I'm watching last week's Lost and Sawyer has his shirt of and it is very hard to concentrate.
Where was I?
Oh right. Here's what I managed to scrounge together over the weekend.
Ben Folds on chatroulette. They edited out the penises sorry.
James Rani is gay. No one is surprised.
Baby dictators are adorable.
http://didtheypasshealthcarereform.com/ This is going to be my new homepage.

Remember to vote in Fug Madness, and take it seriously people. And if you are interested in writing a guest post let me know. You can't do worse that this one.

Oh The Cuteness!

2010-03-14T21:44:00.000-07:00

In honour of my new listings on etsy.com I am going to begin what will be a monthly special featuring sellers on the site that I think are good.

The first is Oh The Cuteness, this store is run by Chase who runs my fantastic knitting group. In addition to being a great crafter she is an awesome person. She also has some patterns featured in this new book Craft Challenge: Dozens of Ways to Repurpose a Tea Towel.

Now is the chance to buy some of her items before she gets really famous and starts charging the big bucks.

All my completed projects are up at Carolyn's Collection for you to view, buy and tell your friends.

The pictured item is Owl Pincushion - Renee, which if you like you should buy now because I'm trying to save money and you'd be doing me a favour by taking the temptation away.

Remember don't be afraid to leave comments, I approve all that aren't spam.

Is 'Remember Me's surprise ending too much?

2010-03-07T23:13:00.000-08:00

There have been a few articles floating around the interwebs about the ending of the film "Remember Me", which I had no desire to see (I will see nothing with Robert Pattinson in it unless he can prove that he can wash his hair just once no matter how awesome Emilie de Ravin is) so I was not put off by the warnings about spoilers.

To discuss the ending I obviously have to ruin it for you and since the filmmakers have spent a large amount of effort not having it ruined you may want to stop reading now if you want to go see it.

If you don't mind having the ending of the movie spoiled keep reading after the jump. If you don't want to know the ending click here for kittens.

The ending, according to several blogs is this. The film is not set in the present day as you are appently lead to believe but set in 2001 and Pattinson actually dies on 9/11. According to this article he "looks out the window, and watches helplessly as American Airlines Flight 11 hits the building".

As I said I wasn't going to see the film nor does this information make me more or less likely to go and see it but I have a question. Is 9/11 something that we should be surprising people with? If you were in the cinema how would you react to that ending? I'd especially like to hear from people who saw it and whether they were effected by it.

What do we do now?

2010-02-28T18:48:00.000-08:00

What Do We Do Now? Is a relationship book by podcasters Keith Malley and Chemda. You can read a sample chapter at http://www.keithandthegirl.com/book/.

Watch the video, buy the book. Easy.

If you don't laugh watching the videos or reading the sample chapter tell me in the comments why you have no soul?

Very, very serious buisness.

2010-02-23T10:15:00.000-08:00

I have a problem, it plagues me quite often.

I can't decide what theme to use on my gmail.

I'd like to say that I was kidding but I have literally spent hours fiddling with it. I wish I was was one of those people who have no idea how to use the word literally, like I'd say I literally spent hours when I mean ten minutes. But no, I mean hours. I've been through all of the themes and I don't quite like them so I tried a custom one but couldn't quite get the colours right. It causes me issues and may bother me more than the Rhino thing. I'm not proud of it but I've never tried to pretend I was sane.

What theme to you use and why?

If only people were worth as much as Rhinos.

2010-02-08T21:28:00.004-08:00

I'm watching Last Chance to See with Stephen Fry and Mark Carwardine. For those of you who don't know what it is it was a BBC series based on the book written by Mark and Douglas Adams in 1990. The book (which like all Douglas Adams' work I adored) was an account of the trip the two took looking for endangered species. It was fascinating, touching and is one of the few books that I can honestly say changed my life. The series takes Mark Carwardine and Douglas Adams' close friend and awesome human being Stephen Fry to visit some of the same animals profiled in the book and see how the efforts are going. I am currently half way through episode two and while I love it so far something just happened that made me stop trying to thread my new sewing machine (if anyone can tell me how to wind a bobbin on a singer machine without it being all loose and tangly I'd love you forever) and write this.

Mark and Stephen had to call off a search for the Northern White Rhino because the civil war in the Democratic Republic of Congo has come too close to the possibly 4 remaining animals. Stephen asked whether it was really worth trying to save these animals which are practically indistinguishable from the thriving Southern White Rhino. Mark's answer was that deciding which population of the Rhino to save was playing god, and that with the loss of the Rhino there would be no reason for the Garamba National Park to be protected.

These are excellent reasons however it brings up something that has annoyed me for years. Did you know that one of the only times ANY voice of protest was raised about the genocide in Rwanda was when the violence encroached on the Gorilla population? Meanwhile around 1 Million people, including children, were hacked to death with machetes while the world watched. While the UN, the US and the entire global community did nothing, while the French sold weapons actively helped the genocidaires escape. We as a society are fine with africans killing each other as long as they don't hurt the animals.

The war in the DRC has been going on pretty much since the end of the Rwandan war, and is actually being run by some of the main leaders in the Rwandan genocide, the conflict that has lasted since 1994 has killed millions of people and left many more displaced. There have been reports of people hunted for food, hundreds of thousands of women have been raped.

In the series Mark & Stephen visit a park just on the other side of the boarder where armed guards protect the wildlife. The elephants have apparently learned the boundries of the area where they are safe and stay on the Kenyan side of the boarder. This made me think of the children at the Ecole Technique Officielle in Rwanda who hid assuming they would be safe in the presence of UNAMIR soldiers. They were massacred after the soldiers protecting them were ordered to retreat.

I am not saying that the animals are not worth protecting. The Northern White Rhino is now probably extinct and that is genuinely sad. I think efforts to protect animals are important and honestly a sign that the human race is not completely horrible. I believe that these and all animals are worth protecting, I believe that the environment is in serious danger and humans have to change the way we do things if we want to continue to live on this planet and not go extinct ourselves but isn't protecting the civilians, the children that get caught up in conflicts just as important as protecting gorillas, elephants, rhinos and any other animal that gets caught up in conflict?

I am really interested in your comments on this post. Or you can email me.
Here's an interesting op-ed about the conflict.

Links because I'm busy

2009-12-13T16:12:00.005-08:00

I told myself I would post something once a week (how many times have you heard that?) but my mother is coming in to town tomorrow so I have no time to come up with something great. So I will steal greatness from others.

I find most Twitter meme's incredibly dull but one from a few months ago made me exceptionally happy and I bookmarked the best ones to share with you all.

These are all from the hashtag #lameclaimstofame (Lame claims to fame)

@eddhedley "I shook Viggo Mortensen's hand and said 'fuck me. history of violence.' "

@felixexplody "the bush tucker man is my second cousin"

@SimonMacneall "I used to work with Anthony La'Paglia's sister in law. She married the unknown car salesman brother"

@samesame "while i was working at sydney theatre company cate blanchett leaked her breast milk on my desk by accident. CT"

@jonslattery "Eric Clapton once asked me if I'd got any chewing gum. I hadn't."

@MadCatfromMars "My grandmother (a high school nurse/home ec teacher) taught Martha Stewart the proper way to make a bed. "

@sophistifunk "My brother got shitfaced with Big Kev a few months before he died. "

@fifipoodlebum "The temping agency that I'm working for is owned by Daniel Craig's dad"

And here's a bonus one from me that wasn't posted on my twitter (@tuttle88), Once at Carmel By The Sea my grandfather talked to Clint Eastwood for like 10minutes and had no idea who he was. Clint also patted my first dog Barney and told him he was a good dog. He was a good dog.

Carolyn's Collection

2009-12-11T21:38:00.004-08:00

I have opened a store at etsy.com where you or anyone for that matter can buy one of my super cool baby approved pacifier clips. There are 4 on there at the moment but I have made a lot more.

I haven't listed them yet because I want to take some good photos and because etsy's default setting is to show the newer items first so if I post all at once I won't stay on the front page very long. See how smart I am?

You can visit the store at http://www.etsy.com/shop/CarolynsCollection.

You should. You should also buy one, I'll go to the post office even though it is loathsome. I should charge more for postage.

Its my birthday month!!

2009-12-03T11:46:00.002-08:00

You should give me a dollar.

You can also buy something on my Amazon wishlist.

Because I like presents and being born is hard work.

I will be blogging more I want to get into a routine where I update this on a regular basis. If you like to hear me talk about shit remember I recap tv shows (mainly Maury) on my 2nd twitter account @tuttleTV.

Please remember to comment, I haven't been getting many comments lately and that makes me sad.

Dollar Store Wonders.

2009-11-18T22:16:00.006-08:00

At the risk of turning this into a religious blog, I have more tacky crap to show you.

I nearly hyperventilated when I saw this, I present to you a 3pack of FUN!

Bible Trivia.

Bible Heroes Flash Cards.

Bible Memory Match.

Why is Jesus holding that baby? Who's baby is it? Actually are we sure that's Jesus & not some random dude with a beard?

It appears as if my camera flash made the snake in this card look more like a "snake".
Why is Sarah so large? Or is the baby just a creepy man child? And where is the rest of Abraham?
Jesus' mum & Mary Magdalene are the same person!!!! Waaaaaaaahhhh!!

Gay. Gay. GAY. Gay.

I collect inappropriate souvenirs, my Japanese Imperial flag, my Bill & Monica stacking dolls and I feel this really ads to my collection.

etsy.com is awesome.com

2009-11-16T21:38:00.003-08:00

I was bored so I typed "cunt" into etsy.com and I ended up in a keyword hole. I shared some of the better finds on my twitter account @tuttle88 but I have saved the best for you.

This goes on the list of the greatest things ever created. It really appeals to my love of the ridiculous and insane.

I present to you; Jesus on a Bleeding Vagina.

It can be yours for just $320 plus shipping. You know you want it.

New twitter account.

2009-11-10T09:54:00.002-08:00

I've been recapping some tv shows on my twitter account for a while now. Since I arrived in the USA I've been regularly recapping the Maury Show. Some people love them however they do clog up the feed so I've created a seperate twitter account for these updates.

So all Maury & other tv updates will be at @tuttleTV. If you came here via that page, welcome! please take a look around.

If you enjoy the updates and want to give me something you can click this button:

Want to help me make an iPhone/iTouch app?

2009-10-29T12:54:00.001-07:00

I've been using this application Total Baby, to keep a record of the Baby's progress during the day and there are certain things I like about it however it isn't really tailored for childcare workers. There aren't really any apps that are baby/child tracking applications that are specifically for childcare and I have a lot of ideas about how to do this. Unfortunately I have zero technical ability so I'm putting out feelers for someone who wants to work with me to create this.

Email me at tuttle88@gmail.com if you are interested.

Wreck This Journal

2009-10-03T18:31:00.003-07:00

I arrived back at my new house (that's right I'm here) to find a nice envelope from Amazon. This is exciting because a) I love packages from Amazon. b) Mail on a Saturday AWESOME! and c) I've been wanting to get this book for ages.

Wreck this Journal by Kerri Smith contains a collection of instructions about how to destroy the book creatively. On her blog the author discusses feedback she's been getting from people about how they are having a hard time destroying the book which I can understand. There is one instruction I am dreading doing. "Give away your favorite page" but I think it should be exciting.

I am hoping to do a page or 2 a day. I don't want to rush through it and I shall chronicle it here.

While you are waiting you can check out this flickr pool and these YouTube videos from the people who have gone before me.

Sillyness

2009-07-10T02:01:00.003-07:00

Hey folks!

So I'm studying my Certificate Three in Children's Services and I'm on placement at the moment. I also work in Childcare as an Unqualified.

At work I've been left many, many times with a dozen or more kids for fair amounts of time, on placement under no circumstances am I to be left alone with any child. There's not a lot of point to saying that it just amuses me that the only thing that has changed is my label.

On the other hand because most students have had no experience with children (why would you pay upfront for a course working with kids if you had never spent any time with kids I don't know) and need to be prompted to do everything like sit with the children and play. I am getting constant praise for how amazing I am which is good for the self esteem.

That's all. Kind of boring I know.

Here's a pretty butterfly I made at http://www.amnesty.org.au/comfort.

Links for the ages.

2009-06-15T08:48:00.004-07:00

Celebrity Rehab Australia

2009-06-07T06:32:00.002-07:00

I love Celebrity Rehab and Sober House. It may be the greatest show on television and if I have kids I am sitting them down and making them watch it. You think drugs are cool? Here's Steven Adler trying to use a computer. Still wanna use?

Well it now appears that Andrew Symonds is done with cricket and I was thinking about what he could do with himself. And I think Celebrity Rehab Australia is the answer.

We need about 9 people a nice mix of addictions, sexes and careers and a reputable doctor to host it.

So far I have:
Andrew Symonds
Ben Cousins
Jodi Gordon

Maybe Matthew Newton could slip up and choke another soapie star.

Ideas please...

Carolyn's Collection exclusive blog deal

2009-05-17T18:14:00.000-07:00

If you head over to my etsy store Carolyn's Collection and enter "icnh" in the comments to seller section I will refund all shipping costs if you live in the USA or half your shipping costs if you live internationally.

This offer is good until I delete this post.

A Brief timeline of fuck-ups at the Adelaide Zoo

2009-05-10T02:19:00.003-07:00

Opened in 1883 the Adelaide Zoo is a beautiful (if outrageously expensive) place.
I remember having to stand well back from the lion's cage as the male lion tended to spray large groups of school children, I never saw the elephant Samorn in her (his?) glory days, he was pretty old and crazy by the time I saw it (he used to pull children around the zoo on a cart and enjoyed it but that had to be stopped because it was cruel so then he spent all his time in the concrete enclosure, til some bright spark decided to take him up to a special elephant enclosure at Monarto where he would have tons of room and live in his "natural environment" of course by that time Samorn was so used to his Elephant House the wide open spaces at Monarto terrified the poor thing and it died shortly after being moved.)

With the news today of an Orangutan escaping from its enclosure, and the Rhino that escaped from Monarto a few months ago I thought I would take you through some of the infamous moments at the zoo.

In 1902 a man was "lacerated in a frightful fashion" by a lion.
In 1920 a keeper's arm was ripped off by a polar bear.
In 1985 two teenagers broke in and killed 64 animals at the petting zoo.
In 2002 16 guinea pigs were killed in a break-in.
In 2004 a monkey was stolen in the "first such case in the zoo's history"
They may have waited 120-odd years for the first case of animal theft but they only had to wait 2 years for the second, and only a few months for a third. In 2006 a meercat was stolen in April and some rare parrots in December.
Then of course Adelaide went from stealing birds to bashing them which pissed me off slightly.

Does this kind of thing happen all over the world? I know people get into enclosures and eaten like that stupid German woman but I'm not aware of a great deal of animal stealing I think that might just be us.

p.s. Dear China, we still want the Pandas please.

I'm moving to America!

2009-03-04T04:32:00.002-08:00

I've been planning it for a while, years actually. I was born in San Diego (not sure if you all know that), I left when I was 4 but I still have US citizenship so I've wanted to go back there and live for a while before I start to get bogged down with things like husbands and jobs and children.

So I leave on September 5th and I have a place to stay in San Francisco for exactly 1 week, I have exactly zero job.

If you have any suggestions email me or leave a comment, if you have any spare money hit the donate button on the sidebar. (You don't have to donate but if you do I will love you forever)

Thanks!

The taste and smells of memories

2009-02-07T02:18:00.004-08:00

I've been thinking about how external things trigger memories a fair bit lately tipped off by a few different things.

I have a terrible memory, I have nothing but a handful of vague recollections from before I came to Australia and I only remember bits and pieces from my childhood after that but occasionally things will trigger a memory so strong that I remember exactly what it felt like.

In the last couple of weeks I've had a couple of strange experiences:

The first was a pair of things, my friends Kami and Tabi went to San Diego Zoo, and in the same weekend we went to Baskin Robbins and I had a taste of the rainbow sherbet ice cream. My 6th birthday cake was made of that ice cream and was literally the only good thing about my birthday, which also included a trip to the Zoo with my father and step-mother. The photos and the taste of the ice cream took me right back to that time.

Last week I decided I wanted to clean my computer so I bought some dust cleaner, now while I didn't sniff it on purpose (I saw that episode of Intervention, damn) I did accidentally catch a whiff of it and it nearly floored me. It smelt exactly like the gas mask that they used to put me under for an operation I had when I was about 7 or so. For a split second it felt like I was there again, looking up at the mask coming down towards me, seeing the Drs & nurses, I could feel the mask the cold of the room. It was the most bizarre thing ever.

Now before you go kill yourselves the last one is actually a happy memory. I bought some lemonade icy-poles, for those of you who don't know its a water based ice block that tastes kind of like sprite, its the kind of thing you get on a school picnic or camp. The feeling I had when I ate that was not a specific memory it was more like a feeling of fondness for summer. It tasted like end of year picnics, girl guide meets and birthday parties with slip and slides.

Anyway, that's all for the nostalgia. Have you had any similar memory triggering experiences?

Where are the resources for the "I don't care" kind of Atheist?

2009-01-30T04:33:00.003-08:00

I've explained my love of racist crazy people blogs before haven't I? Anyway the short version is they are crazy, I amuse myself by commenting on them, when they answer my life is filled with joy.

One of my best buddies is Alexander Cornswalled, now for the record, in case he turns out to be a fake, I'm not entirely sure he's for real. But regardless he posted a video from this guy who asked Intelligent Atheists 5 questions. I consider myself to be intelligent and I consider myself to be an atheist so the least I could do is answer this complete strangers Internet question.

I present this in the form of a mini live blog:

He hasn't asked me any questions yet.
Ok, he we go.
Question 1) I've never accused a Christian of using God to explain gaps in knowledge. I envy Christians and their belief in a higher power I would have liked to have a God to help me through hard times.
FUUUUUCK this guy is boring and condescending, I've answered the question move on!

2) I don't care why I'm here instead of somewhere else. I could be somewhere else it might be cooler cause its fucking hot here. He keeps sneaking in extra questions, you can't trick me annoying man! You get 5 and 5 only.

LOLz "Then there is the fact that the biological life bears the marks of Intelligent Design. Whether Intelligent Design is a fact or not that's not my point".

3) I get my morals from my upbringing, the law, my culture, the media etc. I believe that there has to be order 'cause Anarchism is retarded as is Libertarianism which is just Anarchism for people who aren't sullen teenagers anymore. I also believe that killing someone is wrong because this life is the only one they have. If I kill them they aren't going to go to heaven or be reincarnated they are just dead.
You are stupid annoying man, the description you gave of the atheist view of morality talked about the survival of the species, now you are saying that the atheist view of morality doesn't look to the future. You might want to get someone to check through your script next time.

4) I don't have to admit anything, first off. I don't care where society got its morals from, in fact I'm not sure that society has very good morals anyway maybe we don't have any? If atheists are a minority then why do we have so much crime? If religious people have such great morals why are there so many Christians in prison? Was that the question? I don't remember and I don't care. Next

5) I don't care how complex organisms come into being without God I'm not that kind of atheist. I just don't believe in God, I don't know where we came from, I don't why we are here, I don't know how the Internet works and I don't care. We are here. End of story.

I would like to ask you a question annoying man.
Why do you assume that all atheists are like Richard Dawkins, when most of us just want to live our lives in peace like everyone else and don't give a second thought about the world and why we are hear and all that shit that doesn't affect us at all?

Why must strangers insist on solving my life?

2009-01-26T06:25:00.004-08:00

or why I've started telling people my father is dead.

Here's a question for you. If you were having a small talk conversation with a stranger and they said to you "well I don't speak to my father", would you?
A) Assume something bad happened and drop it.
B) Ask "oh, why not"?

You would be surprised how many people decided to go with option B. As if there aren't a thousand good reasons that would be exceptionally awkward to bring up in French class. Or if you could solve the issues I've had with my father for 25 years in the 15 minutes we have in the lunch room.

Don't believe me? Here are some examples:

Setting: French Class, evening.
Fellow Student (man in his 50s): Will you be going on next year?
Me: Actually I'm planning to move to California next year.
FS: Oh, wow, for how long?
Me: (I explain briefly my plans for moving, how long, what I'll do, etc.)
FS: Do you know anyone in California?
Me: Well I was born there, my father still lives there but we don't talk.
FS: That's a shame it would be nice to have someone you know there.
Me: No, it wouldn't he's not a nice person.
FS: Well, it would be good to have someone to stay with.
Me: So, what are you doing next year douche bag.

Setting: Vague family party with many people I don't know.
Some Lady: Oh you have a bit of an accent.
Me: (I so don't but never mind) Yeah I was born in America.
SL: How long have you been here, other dumb questions...
Me: Since I was 4, my mum is Australian she moved back after the divorce, answer other dumb questions.
SL: So do you go back often?
Me: I've been to see my grandmother a couple of times and try to call her when I can.
SL: Oh what about your father.
Me: I'm not in contact with my father.
SL: Why not?

FUCK YOU!

What if the answer was "because he molested me", "he killed my mother" or "well maybe I'll see more of him now Guantanamo Bay is closing"? Wouldn't you assume that worst. Wouldn't you assume that the answer is not fit for small talk, people don't become estranged for shits and giggles its not an easy decision.

To be clear and fair (shudder) to the man that gave me half my DNA he didn't molest me, kill my mother or plan major terrorist attacks against the US (although he does work for one of the companies that ran Abu Ghraib). No my father's crime was that when I moved to Australia he forgot he had a daughter. Except for the times once every 6 months to 3 years he remembers I exist, tells me he loves me, he's sorry gives me the world for a few weeks then gets distracted and breaks all his promices. I decided I was sick of being jerked around and quit.

But despite the fact that the story isn't scandalous or terribly heartbreaking I still don't want to tell it to every random stranger.

So I decided at the end of last year to tell people he died in the Gulf War. My next daddy conversation went much better:
Woman at work: So what are you doing for Christmas?
Me: We only have 8 people, my mother and I will be doing it all.
W@W: What about your father?
Me: Oh my father passed away.
W@W: Oh my God I'm so sorry.
Me: Its OK it was a long time ago I didn't know him that well. So what are you doing for Christmas?

Done and done.

Why are people MORE comfortable with my early loss of a father at war than with a grown woman not talking to someone? Or a better question, why do they have to ask me at all? I don't know people are dumb and don't understand the rules of small talk. But hey, if it makes you feel better he's as dead as a doornail.

Liveblogging the Inauguration

2009-01-20T04:03:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T15:27:00.003-08:00

Man stabbed, another bashed with golf club.

A man who was stabbed nine times during a family disturbance is in a serious condition in the Royal Adelaide Hospital.

Police were called to a house in Mead Street at Birkenhead just before midnight on Christmas Day.

They found a man, 39, from Loxton in the Riverland with stab wounds to his chest and stomach.

He was rushed to the Royal Adelaide Hospital (RAH) in a critical condition but has since been stabilised.

The alleged attacker, 33, from Birkenhead was found further up the same street with head wounds, apparently having been struck by another family member with a golf club.

He was taken to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital and then transferred to the RAH in a serious condition.

Port Adelaide detectives are investigating.

Now is this a symptom of Christmas or the north-west of Adelaide, this is the question.

Dear Secret Service,

2008-12-14T21:37:00.004-08:00

You have obviously not read the open letter from Best Week Ever, even AFTER I linked to it, so I'll re-cap.

The American people just elected a shiny new president, you are charged with protecting him from the many crazy people who want to harm him (trust me they are out there I read their blogs and they are hilarious).

Its not that hard, there's only one dot point. However you do not fill me with confidence when you can't protect the current President from a pair of shoes.

This is from the AP:

Bush got a size-10 reminder of the fervent opposition to his policies when a man threw two shoes at him — one after another — during a news conference with Iraq Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki. "This is the end!" shouted the man, later identified as Muntadar al-Zeidi, a correspondent for Al-Baghdadia television, an Iraqi-owned station based in Cairo, Egypt.
Bush ducked both throws. Neither leader was hit. In Iraqi culture, throwing shoes at someone is a sign of contempt; Iraqis whacked a statue of Saddam Hussein with their shoes after U.S. marines toppled it to the ground in 2003.
"All I can report," Bush joked of the incident, "is a size 10."

If you watch the video:

You can see that he dodges the first shoe, then the second shoe and the other journalists in the room run to the reporter to grab him. Its not until 5seconds after the second shoe was thrown did ANY (I assume Secret Service) come out of the other room, some of them stand behind the President while others run towards the man. No one attempts to shield him, no one removes the President from the room. Now I'd like to assume that the Secret Service know more about protecting Presidents than I do but I'd like to think that they would over re-act to security threats rather than waiting it out to see what happens.

I know its nearly over, and we all get a bit slack at the end of the work day but you can't go and let the President get hit by shit 'cause you want to get home and have a shower.

Much love,

Carolyn

Thanksgiving 2008

2008-11-23T18:35:00.003-08:00

In decorating for Thanksgiving I may have inadvertently recreated the Salem Witch Trials.

Oh well at least I'm doing better than Sarah Palin.

Palin pardons turkey while others slaughtered.

Eww and Aww

2008-11-15T23:19:00.003-08:00

This week I found a couple of things that grossed me out and a couple things that were really cute, view them in whatever order you wish.

I don't have a penis but wanting to split it in half is weird right? What about cutting a hole in the bottom?

One of the Hugh Hefner's exes is going to get married to her new man at the mansion and be given away by Hef cause he's like a father to her.

Remember the incest couple? Well they split up, I know, I'm heartbroken too but don't worry cause the girl has a new man who is living with her now. She's known him ten weeks and he's bisexual. Oh the dad is still living there. Christmas is going to be FUN!

I'm not sure if this is creepy or cute but I'm leaning towards cute, ever wondered what the skeleton of a legoman would look like? Wonder no more.

The Flamingo is doing much better.

The cutest celebrity baby and a tasty note from her mother.

Neither cute nor creepy but check out #28 on Avitable's list to see that he feels the same way about Survivor as I do.

A meme

2008-11-15T19:50:00.003-08:00

Sunday Stealing: The Nudder Meme

1. Who did you spend at least two hours with today?
My mother and grandmother, revolving around Adelaide drinking coffee, tres civilised.

2. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks?
BECLEE AND LAUREN ARE COMING HOME!!!

3. Who was the last person you called?
My grandmother in America, we talked for 9.41 seconds a record.

4. What were you doing at 12am last night?
Drinking cocktails and trying not to fall off an exercise ball.

5. Are your parents married/divorced?
Divorced when I was 5.

6. When did you last see your mom?
This afternoon, don't you listen?

7. What are you wearing right now?
A black and white dress.

8. Where is your favorite place to be?
Anywhere asleep.

9. Where is your least favorite place to be?
Anywhere early in the morning.

10. Where would you go if you could go anywhere?
Space.

11. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years?
Hopefully somewhere exciting with my completed phD that blows the world out of the water.

12. What was the last thing that really made you laugh?
This site. Oh the lolz I had.

13. What cities/towns/villages have you lived in?
San Diego, Manila, Long Beach, Adelaide.

14. Are you a social person?
Yes but I need my alone time as well.

15. Do you sleep alone?
Does the cat count?

Election Lolz

2008-11-07T04:45:00.002-08:00

Because God knows we need them.

An Open Letter to The Secret Service
From Best Week Ever.

A totally not weird and absolutely worth $100 bag from etsy.com.

"When Obama wins," from twitter via kottke.org. My favourite: When Obama wins, there'll be rivers on the sun and mountains on the cities. Nobody'll get anything done, but it sure will be pretty.

Dear South Australia,

2008-10-30T03:57:00.004-07:00

You know I love you, I've expressed this before in relation to the incest story. At that time I also expressed dismay at the assumptions people outside of our borders tended to make about us.

That was months ago, the world has moved on. I'm sure they've forgotten all about our boganesque tendencies and its months till the Clipsal500 so we're in the clear right. Right?

"Shock over Adelaide Zoo bashing of rarest flamingo"

If you heard something it was me bashing my head against the desk.

Not just did a bunch of teenagers critically injure a rare bird they did it by chucking a mobile phone at it. A PHONE! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!
"OMG hw funE it B i chckd my ph @ dis gay brd"

Not only did you chuck your mobile at a blind flightless bird but you paid $22 each for the privilege. AND you got caught. Now this wouldn't be so bad if this was an isolated incident but you people (and I mean that with the greatest affection) apparently like beating and stealing zoo animals.

Can you please, please for the sake of the sane members of this community either stop doing dumb shit or move to Victoria.

Yours,

Carolyn

Stupid Stereotypes

2008-04-07T18:45:00.004-07:00

I'm a very patriotic person alright. I am proud of my American heritage but I grew up in Adelaide and love my country and my state a great deal. I know there are a lot of jokes made about South Australia and, yes, they do upset me especially when they are made by people who have spent very little time here and make assumptions based on very little evidence.

So when news like the following comes out I feel like banging my head against the wall:

"Father, daughter have child together

A SOUTH Australian woman has given birth to her father's daughter after the couple had sex."

Did you HAVE to be South Australian! Really, consider the rest of us, we've worked very hard to defend ourselves. We put up with years of jokes about bodies in barrels made more frustrating by the fact that SA news outlets were barred from reporting news the rest of the world knew so a lot of the time we didn't know what the fuck you were talking about. Now things calm down and we go on about our lives then you selfish selfish people have to go and have incest babies! Fuck you. Seriously could you have not moved to Tasmania or Queensland let them deal with this.

The video of the pair on 60 Minutes is available here (see what else you've done to me creepy people I have to link to 60 Minutes, I HATE that show). Some choice quotes:
"We're normal intellectual adults who have had careers" - His career involves armed robbery and prison.
"Like you might look at a man across the bar at a nightclub." - I'm going to quote Defamer here "what kind of bloody nightclubs are you going to, woman, where a man who looks like that is considered a right spunk?"
"The child is not deformed. It had no mental difficulties. Quite normal, healthy child." - This child is but you actually had another baby that died after birth you seem to conveniently forget about when ever you try to justify your relationship.

It is typical of the shoddy "journalism" 60 Minutes is known for that after they show this story more accurate information comes out. The other child that died of congenital defects, the father's ex-wife's claim that the pair had more than fleeting contact over the years. The fact that he never bothered to tell the rest of his children he was going to be on national tv talking about having 'fantastic' sex with their sister. These are the things that 60 Minutes should have a) known about and b) asked them about. How about instead of a fluff piece about something illegal and dangerous you bother to ask some hard questions huh?

In summary these people are crazy and disgusting but not at all indicative of South Australian society as a whole. If you want to know about incest ask a Tasmanian.

If you are bored by baby pictures just skip this one.

2008-03-31T05:06:00.005-07:00

Lets take a break from all the politics, and look at cute baby. Remember when I first introduced you to my cousin Chloe? She was an itty bitty baby! Well that was November 2006 (although the picture on the left is from October when they were in China collecting her) But look at the young lady on the right, can you believe its the same child?

Funniest thing on the internet (edited with more Clinton dumbery)

2008-03-23T21:07:00.003-07:00

Remember that 3a.m. phone call ad Hillary Clinton put out not that long ago to scare people into voting for her? Well instead of doing the smart thing and making her own ad Hillary's team decided to use stock footage. Turns out the kid from the add (Casey Knowles) is an Obama supporter and none to happy about having her image used by Clinton. I think Clinton is lucky this is all that happened, the girl could have turned out to be a prostitute or a crack addict.

Here's another video, notice Clinton running for cover from the bullets, oh no wait she's bending over to receive a kiss and a card from a little girl, my mistake.

Hot French woman is crazy and were meant to be suprised?

2008-03-02T16:57:00.005-08:00

Three things;

Thing number one: Marion Cotillard is hot and French and apparently can act (I haven't seen La Vie En Rose so I don't know) you can't expect sane and smart at the same time. Do you want a hot girl with an accent or do you want a girl who doesn't believe 9/11 was a conspiracy and the moon landing was faked? These are your choices.

Thing number two: Dear Damon and Carlton, time travel makes my head hurt please stop it. Unless time travel is going to bring Charlie back from the dead please, please no more. I know its a fascinating plot device but it actually hurts my hear right here when I try to think about it too much, and I think about things WAY too much. p.s. Polit Beuro game sounds awesome and I want to play.

Thing number three: No Country for Old Men is a great movie, you should all go see it, except some of you shouldn't because its not for everyone but, wow, so fantastic.

Chloe at Chinese New Year

2008-03-01T19:00:00.003-08:00

Urghhhh

2008-02-24T01:14:00.003-08:00

I apparently can no longer hold my alcohol. Before I was on the warfrin I was one of those obnoxious people who could drink all she wanted and feel fine the next day. But since I've been off the blood thinners (cause you can't drink on them) I've gotten drunk twice and both times have had terrible hangovers. I've spent the majority of today in bed going urghhh and wanting to die. I'm hoping that its just my body re adjusting to alcohol and not a permenant fixture cause that probably means I'm getting old which is so not happening.

In other news how aweseome is Lost this season, the Locke Ben thing, the people from what I'm calling the SS Not Penny's Boat, the time shit which makes my brain hurt, the flash forwardsI'm so confused and yet getting so many answers. Answer number one Sayid is hot, hot hot.

When I first saw Aaron (before I knew he was Aaron of course) I thought he had Downs Syndrome. Look at this screen cap and tell me thats it doesn't look like that from the camera angle:

See I thought thats why Kate didn't want him used in her trial and why Jack didn't want to see him but no its just Claire's baby which I think is equally mind fucking.

Ding Dong, want some art?

2008-02-19T03:48:00.003-08:00

The weirdest thing happened today, the dorrbell rang at about 4.30 this afternoon and I answer it (as you do) and there's this French girl who says she's an art student from Paris (why is she in Adelaide, I don't know) and her and her teacher are selling oil paintings. On the gound next to her is a portfolio with these paintings on cardboard (or offical art paper I don't know) quite large like A2 size or something.
Now I'm going to mention that today it was like 35 degrees her and humid, and this girl is going door to door selling giant fucking art? What the hell? Now I don't know how I'd go about selling my art if I made any but I'd probably start with like art galleries or a stall or here's an idea, the internet! Not door to door when its crazy hot outside.

Anyway then afterwards I had my French class and I was sitting next to this guy who controls outbreaks of pests in SA he's going to spend the next several nights out looking for Cane Toads. Thats right a lone (hopefully) cane toad appeared in Mawson Lakes last week (for those of you who don't know there are cane toads in Quensland and on the edges of NSW and the Territory). They think it came off the train and its on its own but still weird.

No dildos in rehab and other links

2008-01-15T20:28:00.001-08:00

So I saw this clip from Celebrity Rehab (which looks awesome by the way) in which porn star and former California Gubernatorial candidate Mary Carey has her porn tapes, strap-on and dildos taken away from her. Wait, you can't have dildos in rehab? Why not? Is this another reason Amy Winehouse didn't want to go?

Right Wing Facebook. Fred Thompson is currently "Massaging his jowls"
FreeRice.com, the smarter you are the more starving people you help.
Bad Gift Emporium, share you crappy presents with the world.
Since when does Mark Ruffalo have a baby? She's very cute as is he.
"The natural look is back!" So buy these fake nipples to make yourself look natural, yes I said fake nipples.
According to webehigh.com a gram of Marijuana in Adelaide is $10. In Tehran you'll pay $1-$2 a gram. Fascinating.

News

2008-01-10T19:07:00.000-08:00

I was going to write about what a nice day we had, cause we had a really nice day. I had a drink out of a pineapple and High Tea on a veranda. It was very nice.

But then my mum checked her email and found out that my grandfather died which made me not in a mood to write about what a nice day I had. He died at about 10pm last night Florida time. He had had cancer about 7 years ago and had his voice box removed. Early last year he was told that the cancer came back and that it was terminal. I called my grandmother for New Years and she said he was alright but he went downhill over the last week or so.

He hated hospitals and being sick so I'm glad it was so quick. But my grandmother will be very lonely, they have been together since she was about 16.

Hawaii and Obama

2008-01-03T20:55:00.001-08:00

Obama won the Iowa caucus. This is great news because in addition to having good policies he is hot AND I'm going to make money off his eventual win as president since I put money on him 6 months ago when he was at $8 AND he beat Hillary Clinton who I loathe.

On to actual news, today I saw whales. Three in fact a mother and another one and a baby. My grandmother made a friend with an old Japanese lady who spoke no English, they had a nice time communicating via nods and smiles.

We also participated in the great Hawaiian ritual knowns as "Scam the Tourist" my grandmother who apparently has sucker tattooed on her forehead was given a free spin of the little barrel with coloured slips of paper in it. She 'won' a voucher for 60% off an oyster that they open and you can buy the pearl inside. The pearl is cheap (mine was $6) but then they pressure you to let them set it for an extremely expensive setting. Which I declined right away, Nana very nearly was conned into getting it.

Tomorrow we go on an all day tour. I gotta get up early but its good that we booked it for tomorrow because the condo is being fumigated. nice right?

Hawaii pt 2

2007-12-30T19:47:00.001-08:00

Yesterday we went on a tour, it was very nice. We didn't have to get up at 6 for it, we had to get up at 8 instead. Its winter here so it was freezing on the top of the mountain and raining. We saw a turtle. It was very exciting.

Here are the pictures: http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/tuttle88/Hawaii

Hawai'i

2007-12-28T23:36:00.001-08:00

Hey, how was your Christmas? Thats nice.

I'm currently in Hawai'i on the Big Island. We got here yesterday (my mum and grandmother) and today spent the day shopping, I've been in Louis Vitton and Wall Mart in the same day. Guess which shop I bought something in.

Yesterday was spent getting here and trying to book into the hotel which had us down for the right dates but the wrong year, stupid so we had to find a new place. Expedia.com is the best thing ever invented and thanks to them we are not homeless and are in fact in a nicer place so there.

By the end of yesterday I had been awake for about 36 hours, it took me 3 tries to tell my street name to the girl at the check-in counter. Anyway tomorrow we are going on a tour and I have a new camera so I'll post some pics then.

Oh and if Bec or Lauren are reading this turn OFF your skype when you aren't at the computer so I don't get all excited.

Graduation

2007-12-18T16:25:00.001-08:00

I know its been a while but you know I'm lazy. Anyway yesterday I graduated. W00t go me (w00t by the way 2007 word of the year cause the world is going to hell in a handbasket).

So yesterday at the Convention Centre was my graduation ceremony it was pretty cool my neck got really sore from trying to keep the hat on all the time but other than that it was great. There was no long boring speech and I didn't fall over crossing the stage.

The only downside was that guess who should sit next to me but that weird guy I've had in classes before AND two down from him crazy wheelie bag freaky eye annoying lady. Turns out they're friends, I'm not suprised at all.

On the plus side when I got my envelope with my tickets in it there was an extra one so my godmother could come. Here are some photos. http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/tuttle88/Graduation

My essay is due today

2007-09-16T18:22:00.002-07:00

Not Wednesday as I originally thought. Its only 1,000 words but I know NOTHING about post-modern histories, in fact I'm not really sure what post-modern is. I am regretting staying up till 4am listening to Stargate audio commentaries (not really I *heart* Stargate).

So in the time I haven't been blogging something happened with Britney Spears I'm sure you've all seen the video by now and the immensely funnier video made by a fan defending her (yes its a guy), 'leave Brittney alone, SERIOUSLY, OR ELSE' priceless youtube is the best invention EVAH!

The Emmys were on yesterday, I have no idea who most of the people or shows were but Terry O'Quinn won for best supporting actor which is only right and proper since he's the best thing on tv (for tv read my computer). Oh and, as much as I like Katherine Heigel, Izzy was the most obnoxious thing on tv this year and didn't deserve to win last year maybe but that whole Izzy/George storyline annoyed the shit out of me. They're in love now? Here's a unique idea television a man and a woman with zero chemistry just being friends.

I have to go now I'm going to write this essay and figure out a way to claim that adorable little abandoned girl as my own.

Howard says sorry

2007-09-10T01:36:00.001-07:00

OMG! The day has finally come, in response to poor poll results he's finally done what many of Australians have been asking him to do for...

Wait, what...Oh, he's not saying sorry for...right, ok, ok

Howard says sorry for APEC security crackdown.

And he isn't really saying sorry, its more sorry but you brought this on yourselves like an abusive husband says to his wife. Look if you just had the dinner ready when I came home I wouldn't have to beat you.

Today I felt like shit

2007-09-04T01:58:00.000-07:00

I have made a decision. I don't want to feel sick any more, I'm sick of feeling tired, I'm sick of remembering to take the pills, I'm sick of scans and tests and blood tests. I'm sick of reading stupid ancient magazines and receptionists being mean to me, and I'm sick of making sure I don't bleed. Oh and I really want to go out and get drunk.

This decision being made, nothing changed. Stupid blood clots.

Oh in other news the Jolie Pitts are cute. I want babies, with Brad Pitt, and to be extremely beautify and wealthy.