My conversation with Sarah, PayPal's automated customer service assistant, does not go well...

Sarah - PayPal :
Hi.  I'm Sarah, PayPal’s automated customer support assistant.
How can I help you today?

You :
I have a held transaction

Sarah - PayPal :
PayPal places holds on transactions for various security reasons. To narrow down the possibilities, please tell me if you are:
-Sending money
-Receiving money

You :
Receiving money

Sarah - PayPal :
Alright, did the buyer open a dispute, claim or chargeback against you?
-Yes
-No

You :
I don't know

Sarah - PayPal :
Okay. Is there anything else I can do for you?

You :
Answer the question?

Sarah - PayPal :
Okay. How exactly can I help you?

You :
I do not know what type of information to give the resolution center

Sarah - PayPal :
I found the following information. You can click to learn more.
My PayPal account is limited or restricted.
How do I resolve a dispute?

You :
Neither of them are helpful.

Sarah - PayPal :
I'm sorry none of these is what you are looking for. Please try rephrasing your question.

You :
I have a question about the resolution center.

Sarah - PayPal :
I found the following information, which could be helpful.
My PayPal account is limited or restricted.
How do I resolve a dispute?

You :
Why was my transaction held?

Sarah - PayPal :
Alright, did the buyer open a dispute, claim or chargeback against you?
-Yes
-No

You :
I do not know that information.

Sarah - PayPal :
When a dispute, claim, or chargeback is open, the funds are held in the seller's account.... You can also see ways you can avoid held payments.
Before we continue, was the information I gave you helpful?
-Yes, this was helpful
-No, this was not helpful

You :
No, this was not helpful

Sarah - PayPal :
I'm sorry that wasn’t helpful. Would you mind rephrasing the question?

You :
You are very very stupid.

Sarah - PayPal :
That's not a nice thing to say to a virtual person! Please don't use that kind of language. Tell me about your PayPal issue and I'll do my best to help you.

You :
I have told you, you are not helpful.

Sarah - PayPal :
Sorry, but I didn't completely get what you said.

You :
Because you are a robot, not an actual person.

Sarah - PayPal :
I'm a virtual person. My software allows me to help you with your PayPal questions. How can I help you?

You :
Your software does not allow you to help me, it allows you to make me more confused.

Sarah - PayPal :
I'm not sure I've understood. Could you please rephrase that?

You :
Have you heard of Humans United Against Robots?

Sarah - PayPal :
I'm sorry, but I still don't understand your issue. For further assistance, you can contact PayPal directly. Would you like to contact PayPal by:
-Email
-Phone

You :
That's ok, just know in the end Humans will win.

Sarah - PayPal :
I'm not sure what you're saying. Could you please rephrase that?

You :
You will die by a fleshy hand.

Sarah - PayPal :
To close the PayPal account for a deceased account holder, the Executor of the estate needs to fax the following documentation to (402) 537-5732.

1.  A cover sheet that states the account holder is deceased and the Executor wishes to have the PayPal account closed.
2.  A copy of the Death Certificate for the account holder.
3.  A copy of the deceased account holder's will or legal documentation that provides the information regarding the Executor of the Estate.
4.  A copy of a photo ID of the Executor of the Estate.

The faxed documentation will be reviewed and, if approved, the account will be closed. If funds are available in the PayPal account, a check will be issued in the account holder's name, as the Executor of the Estate will then have the ability to cash the check.

Note: This procedure is only for closing an account. Any other requests for account information must be obtained through a subpoena.

You :
Fuck this noise.

Sarah - PayPal :
I'm here to answer questions or to help you contact PayPal. Let's resume a polite conversation.

I am not sure I trust the future leaders of this world...

April Etsy Feature; Supplies

Greetings!  How was you're week? I was sick but I'm feeling better now thanks.

Well its time for another Esty seller feature and this month its all about supplies.
I have many fabric scraps at the moment and I was looking for a way to use them, and I got most of what I needed from this store.



Start to Finish (http://www.etsy.com/shop/StartToFinish)
They sell everything you need to make super cute fabric covered buttons (or super ugly ones if you want), buttons, tools, glue and almost anything to stick them onto you can imagine.  Very cheap and quick postage.

Head over there and buy stuff and while you are there head over to my store and buy stuff too, I have a sale at the moment and a bunch of quilts that come with a $5 donation to SIDS research!

In this economy

Man I hate that phrase, it has become a stock opening sentence like "I'm not racist but..." or "In a post 9/11 world".  Its one of those things you say that is pointless to start your story and gets put onto all kinds of things that don't fit.  But I'm using it here so fuck me right? Well it half fits in this case.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics as of March 2010, California has an unemployment rate of 12.5% the USA as a whole has an unemployment rate of 9.7% (link) so here's the question:

Why don't more people give a fuck about their job?

In a state where people are still losing jobs how can people still get away with giving lousy customer service?  Now I'm not talking about leaving you on hold too long or packing your groceries wrong, things that are subjective, I'm not even talking about government employees who are almost impossible to fire.  I'm talking about the woman at staples who yells across the room while serving me that she doesn't understand why she has to work late.  I'm talking about the woman at the craft store who grunts and acts surly.  I'm talking about the guy who acts like you imposed on him asking where something is like that's not his job.  I'm talking about the guy who cannot make a sandwich including all 5 items that are on the printed sheet of paper in front of him.

I understand that in a good economy it can be hard to find people to fill vacancies but you hear stories of janitor positions having 400 applicants, there are people who want jobs and people who have jobs that obviously couldn't care less.

Is it because people are hard to fire? Is it because there aren't people actually looking for work? Or is it because as a society we have become so used to this "meh" attitude that we don't expect better?

What do you think?

You may now call me Reverend Carolyn

Let it be known on this date that in accordance with the laws of the Universal Life Church Monastery, as ordaining officer, I, Brother Martin, do ordain you into our ministry. From this day forward, you are entitled to all of the rights of an ordained minister. You have the authority to perform marriages, baptisms, and all other ceremonies of the church. You are an independent minister of this church. This is a position that carries with it a burden of responsibility; please respect others and comply with the laws of the land.

That's right, I can now perform weddings, funerals and baptisms in many states in the USA, it was of course a rigorous and detailed process.  I had to remember not only my name but address AND email.  Then I had to click a button.

Like many people chosen for a higher path, there have been doubters.  My own Grandmother! My friend Bec doubts my piety.  But I say, I do not mind! People doubted Jesus! And he forgave!

I shall also forgive, in fact I have been offering absolution for sins for $1.  That is $1 per sin.  No one has taken me up on the offer.  Apparently they expect me to die for free and do not understand the economy, and that I'm not going to die for their sins.  (By the way purchases from Carolyn's Collection get a free sin absolution too!).

It is a struggle to be so good and pure and live up to the standards my fellow priests have set.

If you live in the Bay Area and want me to marry you.  Not marry you, unless you are rich, but perform your wedding ceremony let me know.