Let it be known on this date that in accordance with the laws of the Universal Life Church Monastery, as ordaining officer, I, Brother Martin, do ordain you into our ministry. From this day forward, you are entitled to all of the rights of an ordained minister. You have the authority to perform marriages, baptisms, and all other ceremonies of the church. You are an independent minister of this church. This is a position that carries with it a burden of responsibility; please respect others and comply with the laws of the land.That's right, I can now perform weddings, funerals and baptisms in many states in the USA, it was of course a rigorous and detailed process. I had to remember not only my name but address AND email. Then I had to click a button.
Like many people chosen for a higher path, there have been doubters. My own Grandmother! My friend Bec doubts my piety. But I say, I do not mind! People doubted Jesus! And he forgave!
I shall also forgive, in fact I have been offering absolution for sins for $1. That is $1 per sin. No one has taken me up on the offer. Apparently they expect me to die for free and do not understand the economy, and that I'm not going to die for their sins. (By the way purchases from Carolyn's Collection get a free sin absolution too!).
It is a struggle to be so good and pure and live up to the standards my fellow priests have set.
If you live in the Bay Area and want me to marry you. Not marry you, unless you are rich, but perform your wedding ceremony let me know.
3 comments:
I say you marry someone at the next NorCal KATG meet-up. Even if they don't ask. Just marry a couple of people.
Lol, you are totally going to do the ceremony for me and Dennis if we ever get hitched, just for fun.
@Aldo I will do that, just quietly under my breath so the they have no idea.
@ohthecuteness I am going to hold you to that!
Post a Comment