My conversation with Sarah, PayPal's automated customer service assistant, does not go well...

Sarah - PayPal :
Hi.  I'm Sarah, PayPal’s automated customer support assistant.
How can I help you today?

You :
I have a held transaction

Sarah - PayPal :
PayPal places holds on transactions for various security reasons. To narrow down the possibilities, please tell me if you are:
-Sending money
-Receiving money

You :
Receiving money

Sarah - PayPal :
Alright, did the buyer open a dispute, claim or chargeback against you?
-Yes
-No

You :
I don't know

Sarah - PayPal :
Okay. Is there anything else I can do for you?

You :
Answer the question?

Sarah - PayPal :
Okay. How exactly can I help you?

You :
I do not know what type of information to give the resolution center

Sarah - PayPal :
I found the following information. You can click to learn more.
My PayPal account is limited or restricted.
How do I resolve a dispute?

You :
Neither of them are helpful.

Sarah - PayPal :
I'm sorry none of these is what you are looking for. Please try rephrasing your question.

You :
I have a question about the resolution center.

Sarah - PayPal :
I found the following information, which could be helpful.
My PayPal account is limited or restricted.
How do I resolve a dispute?

You :
Why was my transaction held?

Sarah - PayPal :
Alright, did the buyer open a dispute, claim or chargeback against you?
-Yes
-No

You :
I do not know that information.

Sarah - PayPal :
When a dispute, claim, or chargeback is open, the funds are held in the seller's account.... You can also see ways you can avoid held payments.
Before we continue, was the information I gave you helpful?
-Yes, this was helpful
-No, this was not helpful

You :
No, this was not helpful

Sarah - PayPal :
I'm sorry that wasn’t helpful. Would you mind rephrasing the question?

You :
You are very very stupid.

Sarah - PayPal :
That's not a nice thing to say to a virtual person! Please don't use that kind of language. Tell me about your PayPal issue and I'll do my best to help you.

You :
I have told you, you are not helpful.

Sarah - PayPal :
Sorry, but I didn't completely get what you said.

You :
Because you are a robot, not an actual person.

Sarah - PayPal :
I'm a virtual person. My software allows me to help you with your PayPal questions. How can I help you?

You :
Your software does not allow you to help me, it allows you to make me more confused.

Sarah - PayPal :
I'm not sure I've understood. Could you please rephrase that?

You :
Have you heard of Humans United Against Robots?

Sarah - PayPal :
I'm sorry, but I still don't understand your issue. For further assistance, you can contact PayPal directly. Would you like to contact PayPal by:
-Email
-Phone

You :
That's ok, just know in the end Humans will win.

Sarah - PayPal :
I'm not sure what you're saying. Could you please rephrase that?

You :
You will die by a fleshy hand.

Sarah - PayPal :
To close the PayPal account for a deceased account holder, the Executor of the estate needs to fax the following documentation to (402) 537-5732.

1.  A cover sheet that states the account holder is deceased and the Executor wishes to have the PayPal account closed.
2.  A copy of the Death Certificate for the account holder.
3.  A copy of the deceased account holder's will or legal documentation that provides the information regarding the Executor of the Estate.
4.  A copy of a photo ID of the Executor of the Estate.

The faxed documentation will be reviewed and, if approved, the account will be closed. If funds are available in the PayPal account, a check will be issued in the account holder's name, as the Executor of the Estate will then have the ability to cash the check.

Note: This procedure is only for closing an account. Any other requests for account information must be obtained through a subpoena.

You :
Fuck this noise.

Sarah - PayPal :
I'm here to answer questions or to help you contact PayPal. Let's resume a polite conversation.